Reply To: Mindset question
Both your mindsets are wrong in that last section SomeguyUK.
1. “even though I am initiating the conversation because I find this girl attractive, she still needs to convince me she is worth spending time with” … WRONG
2. “this girl is pretty, I hope she likes me” … WRONG
For the first point, I don’t need her to convince me of anything. Unlike hurricane, I’m a bit more lax as far as the girl needing to qualify herself as far as her personality traits. To me, if she’s hot I pretty much want to have sex with her (what can I say, I’m the typical man). However, a girl definitely needs certain personality traits to be in a LTR with me, but that’s a completely different story.
So what are you looking for? just to have sex with a lot of hot girls or a girlfriend? Me personally, I’m looking for both (until I find that one special girlfriend that is and then I’ll stop sleeping with other girls).
This weekend I had sex with a girl after 20 minutes of meeting her (right from the outside of a club to my apt). Did I need to tell her stories? Or qualify her? Or act like I wasn’t interested? I did none of that. We were both in the spirit of getting laid that night. She wanted it as much as I did so we were a good match. I picked up on it right away thru some flirting, and all I needed to do was escalate with some touching. ie I put my arm around her waist and the rest is history.
As far as the second point, I don’t understand what you mean by “this girl is pretty, I hope she likes me”. That’s weak. I never “hope” anything. She either does or she doesn’t. If she doesn’t, I move on to the next girl. I try to find that out as quick as I can through some flirting. If she doesn’t reciprocate I bounce.
The abundance mindset is just to understand that there are plenty of girls out there and if one doesn’t fit the bill, you exit. YOU are the chooser. I don’t understand why you guys are wrestling with that. I mean, don’t you get horny when you see a pretty girl? I sure as hell do. You shouldn’t hide that or mask your real feelings. I do not agree with Lee that you need to act uninterested or be way too selective– unless this is the potential woman you want to marry. But if you’re trying to get laid that’s the worst advice ever. In this world there are MANY MANY girls that are horny too, so if you hide it you’re doing the exact opposite of what attracts these girls. Go as direct as you can. Not just with the opener. With the ENTIRE interaction. Alot of guys don’t understand this. They think they if they go “direct” on the opener then it’s ok for them to be indirect for the rest of the conversation. That’s bullshit. You need to go direct from A to Z, make sure she knows what you’re there for. The sooner the better. (note it’s ok to go indirect with the opener and then slowly go more and more direct, as long as you’re moving to your goal then you’re good.. the more you move to acting “uninterested” you’re losing them!)
As long as you know how to flirt then you can get them hot and heavy within minutes. For example, you cannot go up to a girl and tell her “would you like to have sex with me?” she would get totally offended. But if you come in with flirty eye contact, be a bit touchy, and lead the conversation to a more sexual direction using innuendos then you’re gold. If you don’t know how to “flirt” watch every youtube video on the subject. ie https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=how+to+flirt
watch every single one. Teasing, touching, eye contact, nonverbal communication. Basically, just be good at flirting because that’s the language that women talk in.
Or maybe you don’t have the abundance mindset because of AA? You said that you’re not able to generate alot of numbers so you need to be able to do that. I know that I can go out whenever I want day or night and get atleast a couple numbers. That gives me an abundance mindset. If you can’t do that yet, then you must approach thousands of girls until you completely know how to do it. I sucked at this once, but through alot of practice I learned what girls like and don’t like and I adjusted myself and got better. You can too, it just takes alot of approaches and practice. Also, you need to have the freedom to talk to whoever you want whenever you want and always ask for the number. (caveat: if it’s nightgame, never ask for their number just ask them to come back to your apartment).
And lastly, have the ability to screen out girls very quickly. In that example with the girl above, I must’ve approached about 15 other girls that night. Each one had some kind of bullshit: ie one had a boyfriend, one had a husband, one was a lesbian, one couldn’t hook up cause she had to go home because she had to wake up early, one was working at the bar so she couldn’t, one didn’t like me at all, one was too much of a prude (ie only looking for a bf and wasn’t really my type), and on and on.
Read my post on “girls are random”. What I mean by this is their LOGISTICAL situation is random. You must figure out her logistics and move on to the next one as soon as possible so she doesn’t waste your time. Ironically girls will pick up that you’re screening them and they will act more interested because they can see that you already have one foot out the door.