It was one of those sub-zero days where you don’t even want to go outside with your face exposed. I’d gone out at lunch but hadn’t found my one girl to open. So after work I decided to stop by the Barnes and Noble in Union Square to at least get one in. I’m a trooper.
I don’t see anyone at first and decide to leave. On the way out I see this girl and decide to approach.
“Can you tell me where the books on trains are?” I say.
We’re two feet away from the information booth and she begins to motion toward them “You should ask them…”
“Oh my god, you can’t even help a guy out?” I say. “Thanks a lot!” She laughs.
“You are so fired as my personal shopper. When you took this job you told me you could handle it.” She’s smiling and turns her body toward me.
I look at her and notice her lapel is this furry looking thing. “This is nice” I say and reach out to touch it.
“This is highly inappropriate” she shrieks and runs off. Oops, maybe I shouldn’t have reached out to grab her lapel like that.
I immediately start to get embarrassed. My face starts to heat up and I can tell that I’m blushing. I cannot help it. I cannot stop this reaction at this point. I get less and less embarrassed with the more situations I get into, but this time I’ve gotten embarrassed again.
Though I can’t prevent the way my body reacts, I can control what happens next. I do not allow myself to attach this rejection to my self-esteem. Now is the time when I tell myself “You are awesome, Eric, you did your approach for the day.”
If I allow myself to ruminate over a non-successful approach, shame sets in and will give me more anxiety and fear the next time I go to approach. If I allow myself the leeway to learn and make mistakes and focus on a future goal, I improve.
I walk back out into the freezing cold happy, knowing that I approached a girl today. And that it wasn’t an easy day to approach a girl.
I get to the subway platform, and notice a girl. This time without no anxiety I ask if the train is coming soon or if it’s broken down.
“That’s awesome, I’m hiring you as my travel agent,” I say. “But I can’t afford to pay you right now.”
“That’s okay, I’ll work pro bono,” she says.
“I’ll pay you in chocolates and massages until we can get you on the payroll,” I tell her. (credit: Glenn Jason) She laughs and I can tell she wants to keep talking to me.
I partly stall out and partly lose interest in this girl because I’m not super attracted. I’m silent as the train comes, with a smile on my face, knowing that I can talk to cute girls if I so choose.