It’s great to be physically skilled as a lover, but more importantly, you want to activate the imagination.
One of the best ways I’ve found to rev up your sex life is through dirty talk and roleplay.
I put dirty talk and roleplay together because they are almost interchangeable.
She and I are in my living room.
We’re talking about the new TSA airline security procedures of patdowns for people who don’t want to go through body scanners.
Is it violating our civil liberties? Are people over-reacting? Blah blah blah.
We are talking about logical stuff.
Then I say to her, “What if you were getting frisked by a TSA agent like this?”
I push her up against the wall. I kick her legs apart.
“And what if he started to feel down your sides…” I continue. I run my hands down her sides.
“And he got to your legs and started running his hands up inside your legs… ”
The role play continues. I’m the TSA agent, and she’s the hapless traveler.
Eventually I tell her I’m going to have to inspect her more closely in a private screening room (my bedroom).
I can tell she’s enjoying it because she’s playing along.
The best role plays usually involve power play:
A policeman and a caught shoplifter.
A doctor and a vulnerable patient.
A professor and a student who’s just failed an exam.
A great way to start out a role play is “What would you do if…” and then start doing it to her.
“What would you do if you were standing next to a seedy guy on a subway train and he started to rub up against you like this…?”
Dirty talk is a bit interchangeable with role play in that you are implying a role when you say it to her.
She says to me one day, “I need to borrow your drill.”
My response is, as usual, “What’s it worth to you?”
I’m implying that she’s only going to get to borrow my drill if she sleeps with me.
If she’s into it, she’ll play along. “Well, what do you want for it?” she says.
“Wow, it’s gonna be a lot. I love that drill,” I say.
Eventually I’ve convinced her to have sex with me in exchange for borrowing my drill.
We’re dating, so we would have had sex anyway. And I would have let her borrow my drill anyway.
But by talking dirty, it stokes both our imaginations.
By the time we’re in bed, I’m calling her my whore and asking if she does this with all the guys.
Yes, it’s degrading, but you’ll find that a lot of women have fantasies about stuff like this.
It’s pure fantasy.
It stays in the bedroom, so to speak.
I don’t really think she’s promiscuous or anything. She wouldn’t really sleep with a guy to borrow his drill.
But it makes everything more exciting.
A lot of the role play I get into starts off as dirty talk.
I’m away on business in L.A. I may text her “I’m picturing you walking down Santa Monica Boulevard, dressed in a very skimpy outfit, me coming up behind you and saying something very inappropriate.”
It’s usually a little bit over the top and inappropriate.
It’s a little bit like banter and flirting, but a lot more sexual. It may start off as a joke, but if she plays along with it, it turns into a role play.
I’m feeling sick, so I text her, “I think I need a nurse to come take care of me.”
She tells me one of her dreams. “You’re sexually frustrated,” I say. “You need to see a psychiatrist. I can help. I have an opening tomorrow at 1pm.”
If she’s not into it, she’ll let you know. But if she likes it, she’ll play along, adding to the fantasy.
If you’ve never done role-playing or dirty talk, a relationship is a good place to explore this stuff for the first time.
You’re already familiar with the girl, so there’s a lot of trust there.
But this stuff can be done earlier with women, like on a first date, or even earlier, when you first meet her.
It’s like a language that most women know. They love it when you can speak it, because there are so few who are fluent.
You can do it over e-mail, text, a phone call or in person.
It can be used to keep a relationship exciting if it’s long-distance.
It can be used to get her revved up, so that next time you see each other, she’s dying for you to touch her.
posted in Sex and EscalationCOMMENTS