Persistence Gets the Girl

“You were persistent” she says to me.

“I was?” I respond. I had no idea.

“You kept contacting me. I was a little drunk when we met and I didn’t even remember much about you. I never give guys my phone number so I figured I liked you.”

I met her in a bar. I saw her sitting down checking her text messages and sat down next to her.

“Hi!” I’d said with a smile, as if she were my best friend. I had talked to her for all of ten minutes. But we really connected. So I knew she wouldn’t flake.

It took her three weeks before we met up. I’d sent her a few flirty texts in between, some of which she responded to.

Finally, on a Sunday night I sent her a “Hey I’m going out for drinks tonight, do you wanna tag along?” and she responded with “When and where.”

Persistent, huh?

Too many guys drop the ball when it comes to being persistent with women. They leave her a text or voicemail and she doesn’t respond. So they assume the girl doesn’t like them.

There are a million reasons why a girl won’t text or call back. Maybe she just met someone else and is seeing someone right now. In a week or two or three, the situation could be totally different for her.

Maybe she just casually hooked up with someone and feels weird about talking to another guy.

I recently had a girl text me that a family member recently died and she was sorry she’s been out of touch.

The key with women is to not let your feelings get hurt if she rejects you. Even if she cancels on you. You don’t know her, so why should you be hurt?

Admittedly, when I had less women in my life, it was more difficult to not get offended when a woman cancels. But now, if a woman cancels, chances are I could call someone else up. Or I might just chill out alone for a much needed break.

Sometimes a girl will cancel if she doesn’t feel enough comfort or connection.

A while back, there was a cutey who I would flirt with whenever I went into the coffee shop. She was definitely into me. The holiday was coming up and some of my friends were having a party. I invited her out.

She was excited at first and said yes.

Then the day of the party she called and cancelled on me.

Did I get hurt? Of course not. This means I’ll be able to meet other girls at the party.

Two weeks later I took her out to lunch near where she works and we were able to really connect. Then she felt fine going out with me and we started seeing each other.

Some people would call that persistence. But if you live like you come from abundance, it’s easy to not get hung up on the acceptance or rejection of one person, particularly a person you don’t know that well.

So how do you know when to call it quits with a girl?

When do you stop texting her?

When do you say ‘enough is enough’ if she cancels on you?

If you had every night of the week filled with things to do, people to see, women to date, and a girl cancelled on you, how would you act?

You’d be a bit irritated, but it would depend on how into you the girl is, and how into her you are.

If she’s truly apologetic and wants to see you still, then maybe you’d let it slide. But you wouldn’t schedule the date for the next day. You would probably schedule it for a week later because, hey, you’re a busy guy.

If the girl cancelled again, it wouldn’t take too long before you said bye bye without shedding a tear.

What about texting?

Texting requires little to no effort and can often have big results. If you have a good arsenal of fun flirty text messages, you can keep it going almost indefinitely.

If the girl responds to every other or every third flirty text message then you are golden. Keep it on the burner. Send out a text if you get a cancelation.

A lot of this is just timing. If she’s involved in something, it may take her a few weeks, even a few months to be ready to see you. By shooting her a text every now and again you keep yourself in the loop.

And chances are, she’ll see that as persistence.

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posted in Initiative and Inhibition, Text and Phone Game