Just stop talking. PLEASE stop talking.

by Eric Disco
Apr 11

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I’m out with a student on the streets of New York. He is doing extremely well approaching women.

He is continually opening and engaging women who are literally supermodels.

But there’s something wrong.

With all the approaches he’s doing, and all the warm reception he’s getting from these gorgeous women (and they were gorgeous), something is wrong.

The girls aren’t into it in the end.

He’ll ask for their number and they say “I don’t give my number out.”

This guy obviously has it together. He is a fucking cool guy. He’s charismatic, as cool as any guy I’ve met. He has a great life, we talked about some exciting things he’d done. He obviously has a lot to offer.

So what’s wrong?

I look at what he’s doing.

These girls are into him when he approaches them. They are smiling and receptive. He has solid body language. No complaints there.

The girls keep smiling as he talks.

And that’s when I notice it.

His mouth is moving.

And it keeps moving.

And moving.

And moving.

And moving.

And the girl keeps smiling and nodding.

And by the end of the interaction, I notice that the girls are still smiling, but THEY DON’T LIKE HIM.


Based on his profile, there are so many things about this guy that a woman should want.

But that’s not what makes women want a guy. It’s how you make her feel about herself that makes her want you.

Your ears are more powerful than your mouth–because they get HER MOUTH moving. And that’s when she starts to like you.

After the interaction, we talk about what should happen. She should be doing more talking than him, I say.

And a light bulb goes off in his head.

Yes, he’s a cool guy. But the more he talks and talks and talks and tries to convince her what a cool guy he is, the more uncool he seems.

The most important skill with women is to be able to LISTEN. So few people are really able to listen, particularly when they are nervous around a beautiful woman.

But this guy has been through our Art of Rappot and Daygame workshop. And he has practiced approaching, so it doesn’t take long to figure out what to do next.

By the end of the day, he begins fixing his problem. He meets a Brazilian beauty and gets her talking. Pretty soon they go on an instant date

And in the end it’s her who’s asking him for his number.


posted in Rapport Skills

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