I’m not the most handsome guy in the world.
There are plenty of things wrong with the way I look.
I have a big nose, small squinty eyes, a weak chin. My hair is thinning.
I’ve always had very poor posture. And a bit of a belly.
My skin is pasty white. Hold my arm up next to someone and I am almost always whiter.
I’m 36 years old and spent a decade and a half trying to meet women. And never has a woman come up to me.
I never got approached by women. Ever.
I’ve gotten interest in social circles, but it has always always been after women have gotten to know me.
My looks are nothing to write home about. But when I walk around, I feel like I’m gorgeous.
When I walk into a bar, I see myself as more attractive than any other guy in the bar. And I truly believe it.
I date gorgeous women. Some of them are models, actresses, dancers, etc.
And when I stand next to them and look in the mirror, I always wonder whether THEY are hot enough to date ME.
I am a perfect ten.
How is that possible?
My last girlfriend told me that, when we first started dating, her friends asked her if I’m hot.
She responded that, yes, I’m hot, but it’s more the total package, the way I act.
Behavior speaks louder than looks.
Confidence trumps everything–your physical attractiveness, how much money you make, even how smart you are.
But for most guys, they still cling to the idea that they aren’t handsome enough to get whatever woman they want.
They’re too short, fat, bald, poor or ugly to get the woman they want.
And I look at these guys and it frustrates me to no end. Because it really isn’t their looks that hold them back. They just think it is.
So if you FEEL unattractive and ugly, how do you get to feel attractive, to feel like a 10, like I do?
I haven’t always felt like a ten. In fact I used to be insecure about my looks. I used to be the guy who felt like I wasn’t good looking enough.
And no matter what I did, buy new clothes, got a new hairstyle, grew a beard–I was doomed to being ugly.
So what changed? How do you become that perfect 10?
The first thing that changed is that I started to take initiative to meet women I didn’t know.
And I got rejected, a lot.
But as I started to tweak different things it became apparent to me that certain things worked and certain things didn’t.
It wasn’t so much my fat ugly head that was scaring women off, it was my body language, the way I moved, my voice tone and the things I decided to say.
Now after approaching more women than I can count, I never ever ever attribute rejection to my looks.
You start to see huge variations in the way women react to you based entirely on how you interact with them.
I have good days and bad days. And I still sometimes doubt myself.
I still have days when I wonder if I can actually change.
But I never ever doubt whether I’m physically attractive enough for this.
When you start to take action, and take it over and over again, you start to focus on where the struggle really is: your behavior.
Affirmations are probably one of the important things I’ve done to feel more attractive. I would say that it’s the crux of my inner game.
You can read more about affirmations here and here.
Affirmations are a way that you can adjust how you FEEL about yourself.
You can actually feel attractive without someone else being attracted to you or doing things that make you feel attractive.
Affirmations are not a cure-all for every issue you have with women.
But as much as thinking positively can help–and it can help a lot–affirmations will benefit you wildly.
It’s about what you do with what you have
Lastly, when it comes to looks and physicality, the idea is that you want to change what you have control over.
There are certain things you have no control over.
You may be short, bald, paraplegic, missing an arm, or have severe facial disfigurement.
I’ve coached guys with all of these issues.
But confidence is louder than looks
If it is something you have control over, like long nose hairs, then you need to take care of that.
I am meticulous about cleanliness. It’s very rare to find me unshaven. I’m like a gay man.
You can work out, improve your posture and most importantly: change your style.
Style is extremely important for women because it shows social intelligence.
What you wear is a reflection of who you are, how you think and how much you think of yourself.
How tall you are is not.
What it comes down to is that there are things in your life you can change.
And when you do enough work to change those, the things you can’t change start to fade to the background.
posted in AttractionCOMMENTS