I rent a room from one of my buddies who owns a house. He and his girlfriend are both out of town for the week on vacation.
His girlfriend asked one of her friends to stay at the house and sit for their cat. Her friend is an 18-year-old college student that goes to a nearby university.
She’s also rather cute.
I got back home yesterday evening. When I arrived I introduced myself to her, made some small talk, and watched some TV before she had to go to sleep.
She seems rather friendly. At this point, I think you can tell where this is going.
This is pretty much the opportunity of a lifetime for any dude in their 20s–young 18 year-old girl-next-door type staying at your house, sleeping there over night, for the week.
Before I end up getting insta-friended, I figured I’d send you a mayday in hopes of you getting this soon and being able to help me out.
How do I increase the tension here?
It’s not like we’re stuck on a plane together. So I can’t really cuddle up with her like you did in your scenario.
I tried thinking of ways to tease her or banter. But I just can’t naturally come up with anything that wouldn’t just come off as bad.
Eric, this sort of thing doesn’t happen every day. Even if I don’t get anywhere here, I would at least want to find comfort in the fact that I gave a damned good shot at it.
I need a game plan here. I’m like Jack Bauer calling in to CTU for some help. Don’t leave me hangin here!
I feel really bad for you. It seems like you’ve gotten yourself into a tough situation. 😉
How do you increase the tension here if you are unsure of how to banter?
You want to at least do a little bit of banter and teasing. If you’re not that good with banter, you may want to start with some very short lines.
Don’t overdo it. One or two comments a day.
Again, if you don’t have a lot of experience with it, don’t do a lot. But you need SOME. You want to tease her a little bit.
A good thing to visualize, which David D talks about, is that she’s your bratty little sister. You love her but she’s a little bit annoying.
Some things you could say:
“I would be so into you if you were my type.”
“Do you like my shirt or is it too sexy?
“You won’t get too aroused if I sit this close, will you?
“Wow, you’re almost as sexy as I am”
“There you go with that mouth of yours again”
“Isn’t it past your bedtime?”
“You’re so adorable. I want to make you my kid sister.”
“It would never work out between us.”
“I can already tell, you and I are not going to get along.”
“You’re too much of a nice girl for me.”
“Don’t wear anything sexy around the house or I’ll have to call the police.”
“Do you bite? No? Well that’s no fun…”
You are bringing up sex in a way that feels comfortable for her. You’re not putting any pressure on her.
You also need some friendly touching. You need to break the plane first with some friendly physical contact: back of the hand on the forearm, high fives, etc.
Use ANY excuse to touch her. If you don’t start with friendly, non-sexual touching, it will be VERY difficult to get to sexual touching.
She is going to be very conscious about you getting possessive with the two of you in such close proximity. So when you escalate, give some and then take it away. DO NOT leave it for too long.
And use excuses “Who does your hair? I love your hair,” etc.
Put an ice-cube down her back. Thumb-wrestle with her. Have a pillow fight or tickle fight.
Challenge her to a cook-off–who cares if you lose.
Bump her or trip her on purpose when she’s walking down the hall. Say “What’s wrong with you? Jesus, can you give me some room?”
Don’t be all over her all the time. You should try to have stuff to do. Don’t be hanging all over her in the house.
Maybe you’ve got a manuscript to edit and you happen to be in the same room as her. Or you’re cooking.
The idea is that you aren’t a loser just hanging all over her. You have a life.
Get drunk with her. Meanwhile, you can tell her “Are you trying to get me drunk and take advantage of me?”
Watch more movies together. Share a blanket. Prop your feet up onto her. Say “Wow, you make a good footrest.”
Use barriers. “We shouldn’t do this.” etc. Turn it into something sexy and forbidden.
Don’t show over-eager body language. Don’t face her too much. Let her face you.
Facing away from her takes away a lot of the pressure and makes her want you more. You wouldn’t think it, but it does.
Whenever you are around the house, put yourself in a position so that she’s facing you and you’re not facing her.
When you’re sitting next to her, face away from her or at least make sure you’re not facing her too much at first.
Use eye contact. Get into some rapport. Connect with her in a deep way. Then after a while just stop and look at her in the eye.
I don’t care if it gets slightly uncomfortable. It raises the tension and if there’s any attraction there, it will raise the sexual tension.
Hold off on kissing her. If you have the opportunity to kiss her, I would wait.
Tease her and let her know that you COULD kiss her if you wanted to. Instead, turn her on in other ways: touching her legs, massaging her, biting her neck.
You will eventually kiss her, but the kiss will act as a seal on the deal.
The longer you can hold off and make her wonder whether this is really happening, the less time she’ll have to think about whether she really wants to do this or not.
Your game plan, should you choose to accept it, is to keep pouring on the fun and sexuality. Soon will be unable to resist your charms!