Get Comfortable Being Uncomfortable

It is one of the most important aspects of becoming socially confident.

You want to be comfortable. We all do.

You have a best friend. You can be yourself around him. He makes you feel free.

You joke. You play. You make fun of him. He makes fun of you.

It’s like you’re kids again.

But you get in front of her and it’s different. Everything is different.

Or you arrive at that party where you don’t know anyone but the host. Uh… awkward… “So… uh… how do you know Ryan?”

I used to be there myself. I’m not anymore. I’m a master at this stuff now.

Why?

Because I’m brilliant in social situations? I’ve gotten better.

Because I always know what to say? My mind doesn’t go blank as much as it used to-though it still happens with frightening regularity.

I’m a master at this stuff because I’ve gotten comfortable being uncomfortable. I’ve come to expect it.

I relish it.

I bask in it’s glory like a cat in sunlight.

An awkward tell-me-how-you-feel conversation with someone in authority. Wow, another uncomfortable situation. I’m getting into more and more of these.

The first thing I notice is my breathing.

Sean Messenger once said “The first rule of pickup is: Breathe.”

If the first rule of pickup is breathe, then the second rule of pickup is: Keep Breathing.

In those uncomfortable situations, I notice my breath bate. I notice I take shallow small breaths.

Sometimes it seems like I’m not breathing at all.

But if I focus on slow, deep breathing, something magical happens:

My body relaxes.

I start to feel good. Imagine that.

It was huge for me at first. The discomfort was like a tidal wave. Walking up to women I didn’t know was the hardest thing in the world for me.

I held fast though. Holding fast meant staying committed to doing this, even through the discomfort.

But it also meant letting go, and not fighting those waves. Riding them out. Accepting what my body is going through.

And now, when those small discomforts return, I actually enjoy them. Because I know it’s making me stronger.

I am the king of discomfort. I exist in the inherently uncomfortable situations life throws at me.

I see other people squirm around me while I am unaffected.

It allows me to step outside of myself and make them feel at ease.

I am the outgoing attractive lifeboat among the people around me. I am comfortable being uncomfortable.

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posted in Acceptance