[TayBurnz50]

The 2nd date was OK. I took her to the horse races and she was really excited to go. I got really nervous for this date so I didn’t feel like I was my normal self. It seemed like she had fun and was enjoying herself. We were doing pretty well on betting on the horses and so it gave me a chance to hug her a few times and call her my good luck charm.

At the end of the date she was not being very receptive to my touch any more and so I was beginning to feel like I was losing her. I put my arm around her and she didn’t come in closer to me or loosen up. But we still kissed at the end of the night. We didn’t make out or anything so maybe she was just being nice to me for taking her out. I’m not sure. I could be overreacting.

I think I’m just going to ping her after 4 days and see how she reacts. I’ll only ask her out if she really seems like she wants to go out again.

As for a 3rd date, what should I be going for here? I think I have not escalated enough to invite her over from the start of the 3rd date. Any suggestions?

Thanks,
Tay

[TayBurnz50]

Thanks for the help Eric.

[TayBurnz50]

I’m not worried about it personally, I just think it is an alarming trend. The US is becoming more and more PC and all you have to do is be accused of rape and basically your life is ruined. Then if you require the man to have all this burden of proof then he will go to jail off of accusations alone.

How can there be people that think consent contracts are a good idea? It’s like they’ve never been through the process of sex.

Tay

[TayBurnz50]

Thanks for the detailed response Eric. I still do a lot of those things despite being aware of them. It’s great to have a good summary of all this stuff that I need to work on.

Tay

[TayBurnz50]

@mrantiquity
I gave the example of my former girlfriend as an illustration that even in an approach that was “good” I still sounded bad. I don’t know exactly why she responded well to me but it might be that she is from Europe and didn’t know many people here (California).

I don’t really date too much. Definitely much more than before I found this website years ago. But it’s rare I make it beyond the first date or so. I think it’s just a matter of time before girls figure out that I am “low value” in terms of social status. I do think I am needy as I am pretty lonely and really want a girlfriend.

@eric
I don’t know exactly how to describe my voice. It’s like a subtle phoniness that I hate. I don’t feel like I’m talking the way I would with friends. Perhaps I’m being too critical of myself. But it’s just one symptom of a larger problem.

Thanks
Tay

[TayBurnz50]

Cool, thanks Eric

[TayBurnz50]

From my experience it’s difficult to make good progress on just the weekends. I would say 4 times per week is the minimum.

But don’t let that stop you. If the weekends are all you have, then you should make the best of your situation. It will be a little harder to build momentum and you will likely have to go back and spend more time on earlier steps at the start of the weekend.

What do you do? If it’s possible to squeeze in 15 minutes over the course of your day then I would certainly recommend that. Whether it’s on your way to work, on your lunch break, at the gas station, in the airport terminal, at a bus stop, coffee shop, anywhere…

Tay

[TayBurnz50]

I listened to the podcast yesterday and it motivated me to buy this.
I was out approaching today and the podcast planted a seed in my head and for the first time I pulled a girl into a bar and insta-dated her. It was crazy. She had poor logistics so I didn’t take her home but definitely an interesting experience.

[TayBurnz50]

Thanks Lee

[TayBurnz50]

Thanks for this Lee. This is very valuable information to me.

I think you nailed it with your assessment; I am way too needy with girls I like. I really wanted this girl. I was constantly checking my phone to see if she texted me, I was thinking about her way too much etc.

I tend to build girls up and get attached to them undeservedly. It’s something that just happens even though I actively tell myself not to do it. With this girl I wrote stuff down about her that I didn’t like, told myself she wasn’t girlfriend material, and was actively approaching other girls. I can logically convince myself not to be needy but I still am needy. I think I can fake it all I want but the girl will still sniff out my neediness.

So I guess the only way I can think of to get rid of the neediness is to be confident I can meet another girl who’s better.

Tay

[TayBurnz50]

I have a few dating/texting questions relating to this girl. Assuming since we hooked up she was into me I’m trying to find out when I lost her and what I can do better next time.

1. When I asked her out for a 2nd date a few days after the 1st, she told me that she could “possibly” make it and she could tell me when it gets closer. Should I put myself in a situation where I am waiting for her to get back to me? What’s a better way to deal with this?

2. If she doesn’t get back to me in time, should I just drop her? OR does it make sense to try texting her again a week from then?

3. Lastly should I ever get mad or call a girl out for her not getting back to me (like call her a flake or call her lame)? Or should I always pretend like nothing happened?

Thanks

Tay

[TayBurnz50]

Glenn approaches direct most of the time correct? I’m not sure if I’m ready for this but I always go direct and I’m definitely looking to learn how to amp up my boring conversations. It doesn’t seem too expensive either.

[TayBurnz50]

Thanks. I figured that was the response I would get. I’m just so bad after the first or second date. I lose so many girls at that point. I need a road map or something. Super frustrating.

[TayBurnz50]

Perfect, sounds good.

Thanks

[TayBurnz50]

Thanks guys

Lee, do you think it’s smart to have a scripted transition/banter which acts like your opener does? Meaning it gets me from direct approach to topic 1.

I am confident in my ability to have boring conversations but my confidence isn’t increasing any because I’ve been doing the same thing for like 6 months now and my success beyond boring conversations has been very limited. So I would like to script something or have a routine which leads to less boring conversation. I think it is best for me to do this piecemeal instead of having this long script all memorized.

Tay

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