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Really appreciate the response, Lee. It makes sense, although I think it’s very helpful to live in a city where there are myriad gorgeous women every 10 feet. In my city, it isn’t nearly as easy to find attractive women – much less single ones. This doesn’t counteract your argument, but it does give me greater incentive to persevere a little more – with the intention to swing the power dynamic back in my direction once I’m on the date. (You make it seem like this is unlikely, but why? Couldn’t you simply pretend like the previous pursuit didn’t happen, and that you are again the catch? Easier said than done, I know…)
Also, about power dynamics… Can you elaborate on what it means for the guy to have a large power dynamic over the woman? In my mind, having a massive power dynamic (as my dad had over my mom) resulted in him always being right, getting whatever he wanted, being close minded, selfish, insensitive, and growing very little over the course of the relationship as far as I can tell (can you tell I resent him?). I certainly don’t want to be led around by the balls, but I also don’t want absolute control would significantly stifle my own growth (and I know I’ve still got a lot of growing to do). Any thoughts?
I saw a pickup video recently in which a guy day approaches a very attractive woman, and very confidently starts to hold her hand within the first min of the interaction. It goes generally fine for a few min, he gets her number and she leaves.
It then shows the text interaction, which consists of multiple instances of her flaking – either saying she’s busy and not suggesting another time, canceling a date last minute, saying she’s going to call and then not calling, etc. It was a LOT. The guy persists and is sure to never show any kind of anger. Eventually (I think it took a month?) she goes out with him. We see her come to his place, and he implies they slept together.
A friend of mine is also very persistent and has told me similar stories…
SO – I guess my question is, what do we have to lose by pursuing girls who continue to flake on us. I’m assuming it’s
1) setting up a poor power dynamic for the first date (although can’t this be shifted once you’re in person?)
2) A risk to shifting one’s internal confidence? (although isn’t this abated if you truly don’t care?)
Any suggested sources for other weekly flirty pings? I’m assuming I don’t want to text her about anything in her “world” (stuff I know about her, stuff we talked about, etc…).
Terrific stuff. God, I’ve forgotten all of this…
Curious, for telling sexual stories, would you wait until you’re a few min into the conversation?
HUGE! Great job, man. And great attitude.
Lee, in the script we created together, there’s a reference to the study that indicates “women who aren’t close with one or both parents…” etc. I think in some instances I can tell the girl is in a hurry and I don’t have time to get to that (as it follows a story involving my dad).
So what are some other ways to quickly take her into the hot zone?
– Misinterpreting her remarks to be sexual
– Talking about sexual topics in general
I assume talking about one of these things should be natural, not a non sequitur? Randomly bringing up that study would be pretty unorganic…
Many thanks, Lee. Could you clarify what it means to get “buy in”. I typically ping, and if she responds I propose a date/time…
I tend to agree with Lee about this. I went on several dates with a girl who is slightly above average attractiveness – but she has little to no game.
It was clear from the very beginning that she would be no challenge. And the thing is, she’s got a LOT of things going for her. Smart, articulate, a reader, sense of humor, healthy, easy going, similar interests… If she could just use a little bit of game on me, I’m certain I’d be more attracted. But as it stands, it’s just not happening.
I’ve actually thought about suggesting she learn game somehow. Wonder how that would go down… Any suggestions for that Lee? I’m reluctant to advise her to read The Rules…
Thanks, Lee. Indeed, on our only in-person interaction we had talked about getting tea together, and she seemed very interested in the idea. I think that’s part of the reason why I was so confident in her attraction to me. Ah well.
So are you implying that if she texts me a question I shouldn’t respond at all?
So I texted back around 8pm, two short messages, light and playful. Essentially “Get yourself to XYZ immediately!” No question or invitation on my end. She immediately (within the minute) responded with something light – but no question or invitation on her end. I didn’t reply.
Part of me feels like I should have rewarded her for responding so quickly, but her text really didn’t require a response (although it could have been interpreted as an invitation to take her on a date to XYZ location).
On the other hand, she hasn’t fully redeemed herself in my eyes. I’m thinking I go silent for a couple days and then invite her on an official date #1.