[EJ_ap]

She meant serious with another guy. That’s why she decided to stop talking to me.

I’m actually trying to settle down and meet the right partner at this point.

[EJ_ap]

Thanks for responding.

Totally, it’s emotionally draining. You spend time, invest and then nothing. What bothers me is they act like they interested and I do feel like they were. I usually send something flirty like a pic or something we talked about.
I tried changing things around. The one thing I noticed that girls who I am on the date with and I show interest cause I see they are interested, later I get dead end. And girls who I completely don’t give a thing about are later interested in me. Most of the time it happens though that I’m not sexually attracted to those girls.
But you’re right. I should act like I’m less interested in them.
Here’s another example, I met the girl at the private party. We talked a bit through texts then set up a casual date. Went out for few drinks, kissed after. She texted me she had amazing time. That same night which was Wednesday we decided to go on another date on Sunday. Sunday comes and she bails saying she’s coming down with a flu. Obviously blow off. Why all of the sudden cold feet?
I have no problem approaching women in bars or lounges. I usually get the number. But a lot of times it goes now her.

[EJ_ap]

Sorry for thy long post.

[EJ_ap]

I texted this once to a girl and got no response.

[EJ_ap]

One thing though also turned me off is I know she deleted me from her contact list. I know this by her copying and pasting messages from our previous conversations. This is not a good sign. Looks like Lee is right again. I should completely pull back for at least two weeks.

[EJ_ap]

A bit of update. My mistake asking her third time but I did. I suggested to come to an event. She said she would love to say yes but she can’t go. Two days later before the even she’s texting me are you excited for tomorrow? Which threw me off. I said why, she quoted my invitation. I simply said yes and sorry you can’t come. Her response was yea I know 🙁

[EJ_ap]

I do agree that girls behave strictly based on their emotions. From the past I remember I had girls where I was persistent and eventually they gave in. I like coming here for the advice but a lot of times same rules don’t apply to all the girls. Sometimes it’s hard to read people. I just think if I have to put so much effort into this from my side how good can it be after? So I started going on dates with other girls.
I did pull back and next thing you know she’s texting me first. Question is why after she said no 3 times in a row even though she gave me detailed excuse
Bored? Keeps me in the loop?

[EJ_ap]

Thanks for the responses. I didn’t ask for a second date on the first. I asked about it after the date over text. She agreed. I texted her again this week. She responded within an hour or so. We had small talk. Didn’t ask her out or anything. Maybe i should step back a little.

[EJ_ap]

Exactly why it threw me off. Possibly it’s a lost cause. I’ll try again. What bothers me the most is when you actually put effort and it doesn’t work out.

[EJ_ap]

I’ve been following your story for a while now and man oh man. I went through the exact same thing. I know exactly what you feel, i was going crazy, got so obsessed over her. Couldn’t sleep, eat, work. The problem here is that you’re living HER life and not your own. Until you realize this yourself no one can help you. You need to start doing things that you enjoy and are good for you and not worry about what she does. What helped me to get her back was dating other girls. As soon as she knew she would go crazy. It’s reverse psychology. But i don’t recommend you doing it just to get her back. It’s not healthy. She has to realize what she wants herself. It will eat you alive. Believe me. You probably won’t listen to me but best bet is to put this relationship to the end. You don’t realize it now because you think you can’t live without her but trust me you can.
I did manage to get her back and get her to break up with the other guy. We got back but past was always between us and things were never the same. In the end we’re not together and she has someone else right now. I just slowly started to accept this fact. Once you accept it you will feel much better.

[EJ_ap]

Thanks for the support. I’m still fighting with the feeling waking up every morning and thinking they both are happy and I’m not even though I know it’s better to stay away. I just remember last time she left she started dating someone else. Within few weeks I would get an odd text from her reminding me about herself and now it seems she’s completely over. Trying to overcome this feeling. I tried dating someone else but realized I wasn’t in love so I finished it. Now when you single again thoughts come into your mind

[EJ_ap]

You are right but i don’t know why am i going through it again. Obsession is possibly the answer. How do i overcome it? I think seeing her happy and with another guy makes things much worse. I thought i’d be ok by now since 8 months passed since she left. Figured if she dates someone else i would be fine. Somehow i got that anxiety feel again and to add to that she was so calm when i told her i date someone too. Well she said in a pissed way CONGRATS, happy for you.

[EJ_ap]

Maybe I’m overanalyzing but first she said she’s up for it and then she said she might be celebrating something with her family (she told me what). So not sure if she really is flakey or it’s how things are with her. I mean if she wasn’t interested at first she wouldn’t be offering me alternatives.
And second, maybe I’m an oldschool guy but I always thought once you kiss it means something.
You guys think I should text her today and check back with her or wait till she will text back first?

[EJ_ap]

Ok so here is the follow up. Texted the next day and she offered to meet up when i get back. She flaked on the first night by rescheduling for the next day by giving me her reasons. We met up next day. Had awesome time, at the end of the date we kissed lightly. She responded well. I never got text from her she had fun etc the same night so i didn’t text back either. Texted her next morning. No response. Called her in the evening and no answer. Then i get a text she is busy and text me back later. She did. Texted back and forth. Agreed to a second date. Then when i offered the plan and time she said she will let me know because she isn’t sure and told me the reason. I replied ok.
At this point either i back off or keep pursuing her? Should i text to follow up?

[EJ_ap]

Yea the ping about dangerous and stupid i can’t really use. She used that on me the first night we met. It went something along i’m already home, have a good night. And then oops wrong person; how are you?

Thinking i should let it go. Have been in relationship around 10 years so that put me out of the game.

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