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You’re right, Eric. I was on the right path beforehand, no need for me to back-off from what I was doing. Today I came near some very attractive girls and noticed that my anxiety had diminished notably from what it was beforehand, so the process clearly is working. I guess like most things its never a perfectly linear process. There are moments where it seems like I was sliding backwards, but that actually wasn’t the case.
I also have some dates lined up from online dating. Going to do “remote” dating over the phone first, then possibly meet in person. Hopefully I’m able to learn from this and take some lessons in learning how to banter with women. I am a bit nervous, so hopefully its not an overwhelming experience. Its a younger girl, which I prefer as they are much easier to impress than the older ones, who have been around the block several times and understand the game better.DapperDandyParticipant
Thanks a lot for the advice, Eric!
You’re probably right, with experience I’ll eventually get over my apprehension of indirect approaching.
One thing I realized while purposely attempting to be around women lately was that I’ve been acting a bit creepy. You mentioned in your book to not stare at women, and boy, I’ve definitely been staring at women with a neediness that’s been emanating from my very being. I took some advice from another book to not worry about being a creep, but I think that’s not good advice for me, especially when my creepiness is being rooted out of neediness.
I guess when I do start approaching I’m going to have to do it in a way where I do not convey any neediness or pedestalizing. In the past I’ve managed to not come across as creepy by simply going about my business when out and about, but if I do approach, its obviously going to be a bit different. It can be difficult to know when I am being creepy, but if I feel like I give a shit about what she thinks about me, then I probably am pedestalizing her.
Also this whole Covid thing has me a bit socially retarded tbh.
With persistent action, I will hopefully be able to ramp up the intensity, and at some point be more at ease with approaching. I don’t want to rely solely on dating apps to source and meet women.