Work situation

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    Hi guys,

    There’s this girl at work, she gives me IoI’s left and right. But she started our first conversation by saying “My boyfriend and I.. etc”. I sensed I probably said something to convey interest to her so I knew I needed to disqualify myself so I mentioned that I had a girlfriend and started negging her.

    This really worked because I got her to loosen up around me, to the point where she would tell me extremely sexual, highly inappropriate jokes. I really negged her a lot, but never had the time to build any rapport or comfort with her. Anyway, this girl asked me to go watch a movie at her place, 1 on 1. She gave me her number and asked me to be discrete and not tell anyone about it. This was all looking good but I knew I didn’t have enough comfort built with her at the time and I wanted to cancel. But my friend told me ‘don’t be an idiot, just go’. Well I was right, on the day where we were supposed to meet, she cancelled but with this:

    “I don’t feel comfortable being with you 1 on 1 at my place, I haven’t even told my boyfriend about it. Not that there’s anything… Anyway I would love to grab coffee with you instead.”

    Me: “I completely agree. Coffee sounds good, how about we meet tonight, around 8pm. I have some stuff to take care of after work”

    Her: “8 might be bad for me, I usually go to bed around 10pm”

    Me: “Hmm.. no worries, we’ll set something up next week then.” *Smile*

    Her: “Okay, But I really want to grab coffee with you”

    Me: “Oh definately”

    Any way, I wanted to punish her for cancelling on me, twice. So I negged her even more. Almost every time I saw her. Even with a text.

    Her: “I must be the coolest dork you know lol”

    Me: “Hah! Far from it. See, you only wanna hang out with me because you want me to rub off on you so that you can become cool too. And no, I don’t mean rub off in a sexual way. You are such a loser!”

    Trust me, she deserved every bit of that =). She comes in the next day and mentions the coffee thing again, but I ignore it. She then goes to another worker and tells him about us going for coffee… So much for being discrete.

    It’s obvious this girl just needs some comfort building. I can do that over a coffee date easy, and I’m sure I can bounce her back to her place right after no problem. I don’t care about her telling the other worker, that adds nothing to the situation but push it more in my favor.

    I know she has a boyfriend and I should back off but If she’s willing, and I definitely am willing, to just have sex. Why not pursue it?

    Any suggestions on how to proceed?

    Much appreciated,



    I can’t imagine what you could be doing that is more correct than what you’re already doing. Great example of solid, solid game. Will it work? Who knows. But you aren’t in control over what ultimately happens. You’re in control of the things you do, and from where I’m standing, you’re doing everything right.


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