women like being approached

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    Guys – this forum has been quiet for too long….summer is here and hopefully we’ll all have more stories to share…
    Here is one from Friday nite….
    I was at my favorite bar/resto ……its really a small restaurant, with a patio that opens onto the street , where they serve drinks to every one who is waiting for a table….
    At some point, I notice there are two women in their late 20s or very early 30s sitting over at the edge of the patio, almost on the street ….I walk up and do my usual opener – Conversation about guys – and we start chatting.
    One’s Dutch, her friend is Asian American. At some point the conversation goes into dating apps like Tinder & Happn and how pathetic the experience has been for these girls and their female friends.
    Soon one of them goes “ I would love to meet men randomly, on the subway or in the supermarket , or even in the parks ….I wish there were more cool guys who would come up to me and start a conversation like that …..”. Her friend concurs with her and said they would much prefer to meet men who stayed “present” and were willing to take the chance to approach and open them….and yes, they appreciated the risk the guys were taking ……its part of the turn-on….

    For those of us with strong AA….women like it when they are approached and opened almost anywhere by guys showing a bit of style and confidence….


    y’know, that made me think of something. There’s a meme that floats around the community that “hot women get approached all the time”. I think the idea is to inspire us to be a bit different or stand out in some way or another.

    But 99% of these “approaches” are just bullshit–of the “what’s up” or catcalling variety–just like women on Tinder or any other dating site get hundreds of responses, but only 1% of them are worth reading. There’s really not all that much that we need to do to inspire a positive interaction, and maybe get a date out of it. That’s different in, say, a nightclub where the point is to fight your way to the social chain–but the fact is most people have no niterest in meeting in bars/nightclubs–they do it because it’s either that or online, since guys are generally too scared to talk to women in public–and just want to be talked to/flirted with like normal people.


    @ antiquity

    With reference to what you said, I told the girls that the hard part about being a guy was also the best part…..we have to take the initiative and open / approach girls, but at least we get to do it…and sometimes we end up making magic happen..!
    The girls have little choice but to look pretty, put themselves out there, ( whether online or in bars and clubs ) and then wait…..

    I am coming to a conclusion that by using dating apps as a way around dealing with AA, most guys are doing themselves a huge disservice…
    Making no effort to deal with AA, to learn how to approach and build up conversations, and do all the positive work that goes into making us more attractive men in general , is truly selling oneself short big time….

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