Why might a girl act uninterested when she really is

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    I met a girl the other night who was with a group of other girls. She was very attractive so I made an effort to talk with her but she just wasn’t having it. It was very hard for me to get her attention or much of a response so I just said screw it and stopped talking to her. I started talking with her other friends who I could actually have a conversation with but they weren’t nearly as attractive.

    So later in the night while I’m talking with her friends some of them came up to me and said that this girl was into me. Not only that, they wanted to hook me up with her that night. So I ended up sleeping with her (hooked up but no sex). Now this girl and I are talking all the time. It is cool and all but its really bothering me because I can’t make sense of it.

    Why would a girl act completely uninterested if she really was?? especially when I took the initiative to talk to her. Maybe there are other guys out there that have experienced this. enlighten me and others if you can.


    Eric Disco

    who knows…could have been shy, aloof, maybe didn’t want to be demonstrative in front of her friends, maybe was just testing you.

    People are weird as hell when they’re in game/sex/relationship mode–all you can do is rely on yourself to take things forward and really not give a damn about what her motivations are. That’s where people get stuck all the time–trying to sort the other person out. Can’t be done..so why bother? 🙂

    But more importantly, great that she’s into you! Everything else is water under the bridge…

    Eric Disco

    Mr Antiquity is right on. By nature, it is very difficult to read women’s interest. When it comes to attraction, they are duplicitous in nature. You could check out studies men and women were video taped in speed dating events. When an unrelated group of men and women watched the videos, it was easy for them to tell which men were interested but almost none of the men and women would read whether the women were interested. We’ve talked about that here on this blog where it is probably evolutionary that women are good at hiding their interest–even from themselves.

    Second, us guys who want to challenge women hide our interest as well. It’s not a good idea to tell a woman, “I like you.” That kills the unpredictability and fun for her.

    Now, it seems from what you describe that this woman was showing NO interest at all, in fact actively acting like she didn’t want to talk to you. This does sound a bit more extreme than your average woman who just hides her interest and is neutral or friendly on the surface.

    So here’s the most likely explanation for what happened: She saw you interacting with other women. That gave you social proof. Initially, she was mildly attracted to you but not enough to show interest. Once she saw you interact with other women, she wanted you a lot more.


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