What women really want – The science not the bullshit
February 16, 2015 at 7:46 pm #72840
Women are VERY VERY DIFFERENT from men and do not want the same thing. That’s why challenging women and reversing the power dynamic works so well. Here’s more evidence in the form of article from the Wall Street Journal about a researcher who studies mate selection.
If you want to follow the links to the actual research, there are many interesting details. However, here is a summary from the article:
“The better-looking a man is, the more lifetime sexual partners he reports; the better-looking a woman, the fewer. Good-looking men are more likely to have had sex soon after meeting a partner; good-looking women, less likely. Good-looking women are likelier to describe their relationships as “committed”; good-looking men, less likely.”
My experience agrees with this article. Sure, someone (wink wink) is going to say that his own experience differs. But here is what you have to remember, it’s not just one study. It’s the preponderance of studies that supports the above argument. In fact, I know of no experiment that supports the opposite point of view. Add this to the links that I had previously posted.
You think that some ambitious feminist isn’t looking for a way to prove that men and women are equal and have similar interests? Of course they are! The fact that no paper plausibly makes this argument means that there is no such evidence!
–LeeFebruary 17, 2015 at 9:13 pm #72852SomeguyUKParticipant
That was a really interesting article. However, I don’t think it gives us any insight into how much women like sex (which is what Ryano was talking about). I think women like sex as much as men, if not more. But perhaps this article suggests they prefer it within the parameters of a committed relationship.
What I also found really interesting in that article was how different women seemed to have a different archetype of the ‘high status man’. That certainly explains a lot of the seemingly baffling choices women make with men.February 17, 2015 at 9:26 pm #72853
I do not know how to measure how much women like sex. I suspect that women like sex a lot. I don’t know if they like it more than men or less than men. What is a common theme in so many of these studies is that the more attractive the woman, the more she wants committed sex with one man. The more attractive the man, the more he wants to sleep around. If you offer a very attractive women sex, you are barking up the wrong tree. She may want sex with you, but mostly as a byproduct of what else you have to offer her. She can get sex any time, just by approaching the hottest single guy at the bar and saying “Hi”. She will want sex more with you if you are an interesting, accomplished man with lots of romantic options. Men, on the other hand, couldn’t really give a shit if a girl has many romantic options or none. If she’s hot, they want her. That’s a huge, huge difference in preferences. And if you want to do better with highly desirable women, you should be aware of this difference. You should offer them what they want, your high value. That doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t be sexual with them. They consider you more valuable if you are able to express your desires without fear. However, that’s not the only value you can display. There are others that they also look for. High standards, pre-selection, and other values can get you more of what you want than simply being sexual with hot women.
–LeeFebruary 18, 2015 at 12:02 am #72854
Argh the amount of bs in one post I can’t take it. Lee I like you, but with your mindset there’s just no way you’ve gotten more than a few occassional bangs. Or at the very least it takes you weeks to sleep with a girl.
The hotter the woman is the more she wants a committed relationship? what a bunch of bull. If anything, the hotter the woman the more she wants to get banged because she’s used to guys walking on eggshells around her.
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had sub two hour lays (ie having sex within a two hour frame of meeting). in both day and nightgame with great looking girls. and I’m not talking about a date i’m talking about meeting them that same day.
your politically correct article has no business in underground pickup forums such as these. i’ve also had sub two hour orgies. girls generally go for “adventure” more than anything. if the guy has NO sexual shame they’ll basically jump into bed with him. it’s guys that limit themselves to what is possible (not girls). girls if anything are the perverted ones. but they just can’t lead themselves to what they want. they need the guy to atleast give them the opportunity to live out their fantasies. i remember last time i was in vegas. made out with a cute blonde girl after 30 seconds of meeting her in a club, 5 minutes later i say “wanna go up to my hotel room?” her: “ok”. fast forward 30 minutes later. me: “can i cum in your mouth?”. her: “ok” with a smile. and i’ve seen this type of behavior from so many girls im simply at awe you’d write something like this to the poor guys in this forum.
and it has nothing to do with a man’s looks it just has to do with how well he leads her and how comfortable he is in creating a sexual vibe with her.
this reminds me, check out a new guy on youtube called “deepak wayne” type it in the search bar. i think he’s been working with justin wayne lately. the guy looks like crap yet he’s been pulling sdl’s. i’ve also had enough sdl’s to know he’s legit. and he’s not doing anything special (regardless of what he might think) he’s simply leading them. that’s really all you need in an okcupid world. girls are longing for men that actually act like men and aren’t trying to hide their sexuality. and girls especially want to live out a fun fantasy.February 18, 2015 at 1:43 am #72855
and btw, to the guys reading this. when I was starting out it was this whiteknighthood behavior that prevented me from getting to the next level. thinking that girls aren’t as horny. that they don’t want sex rather they’re looking for relationships, and they’re looking for the right guy to “challenge” them on intellectual things, and doesn’t return their calls right away, and all that CRAP.
if you go to any pickup forum you’ll always have these two mindsets. i can tell you right now from experience DO NOT hide your sexual interest from a girl. that’s the worst thing you can do. don’t get on this stupid bullshit of acting like you’re “above” her that’s what is NOT gonna get you laid.
what gets you laid is always escalating. I remember one time I just came out of a bar, talked to this girl on the sidewalk and we were immediately heavily flirting. the person she was with all of a sudden had to leave to attend to a call and we were left flirting there. i just grabbed her hand and said “come with me”. and she’s like “where? :)”. and i was like “you’ll see”. i immediately whistled to a cab, as soon as I got in I just gave him my address. during the cab ride I just put her hand over my erection (on top of my clothes) and she immediately started rubbing it. we got to my place 10 mins later and it was a done deal.
i’ve had another situation where i met a girl at the register of a coffeeshop. i asked her to join me for a cup of coffee. we were talking about boring bullshit but every once in awhile i’d give her a “i wanna fuck you glance”. and i noticed she caught it because she’d smile slightly and she’d blush. when i invited her to come to my place to “chill” she was more than ready. we had sex about 10 minutes after going inside my apt. i remember this girl asked me to cum on her face. like she actually asked me to do that. 🙂
another one was me at a bar, a girl passed by me and I just said to her “come here”. and pulled her close to me. and she’s like “yeaahhh?? who are you?” but she said it in such a flirty way i just immediately made out with her. she was so into it that i rubbed her ass and then i stuck my hand inside her pants (no joke) in the middle of the bar and fingered her and noticed how wet she was. fast forward 10 minutes later she’s giving me a hand job in the alley outside the bar (i had my coat over) as we’re making out.
I remember another one i was on a date with a girl i got a quick number (30 secs) off of on a daygame set a few days before. anyway, i invited her out. we were sitting at the park talking about boring shit for like an hour. finally i just started inspecting her bracelet and she just laid her arm on my lap. just the way she so readily did that was like “green light”. so all I did was after a minute go in for the kiss. after a few minutes of making out heavily i just say “come have a drink at my place”. i remember we walked in, i closed the door. we looked at eachother, and just immediately started undressing eachother like it was our last day on earth.
i have so many of these stories guys, and they’re all the same. me basically escalating sexually without much pre-thought, just being horny and expressing it which makes the girl all the more hornier. i’ve seen it play out so many times i don’t need any more convincing. and i don’t need to argue with guys that clearly don’t “get it”.
but what concerns me is when guys just give other guys false information on forums like this. and then those guys run around in circles for years and just don’t get it. i’m here, atleast for the short term to prevent that.February 18, 2015 at 12:14 pm #72858
Dude, I’m the known quantity on here, not you. I have former students on here who’ve seen me pull hotties by having them contact me and ask me out.
One more time, no one is telling you to hide your sexual interest. Expressing it without fear is one of the best ways of showing value. What that study says is that if that’s your only way of showing value, you’re leaving a lot on the table because women want to have sex with valuable men not banter monkeys like you.
–LeeFebruary 18, 2015 at 3:35 pm #72860CartooxParticipant
found this article on Glenn P ‘s blog ….its from Elite daily by Laura martin….obviously its not scientific, but just her opinion, still it seems somewhat relevant to our discussion here…..
Essentially she would prefer an asshole because he offers a challenge to her, as compared to a bore or a “nice guy” anyday….and she goes into detail why…..
enjoy guys !February 18, 2015 at 4:08 pm #72862CartooxParticipant
Yes, I have actually seen Lee get asked out by a hot Blonde….!February 18, 2015 at 4:17 pm #72863
Thanks for the thumbs up, bro 🙂February 18, 2015 at 4:34 pm #72864
Getting asked out, or asking girls out, or getting numbers, or any of that stuff doesn’t equate to lays.
I think Lee might provide a great stimulating conversation with girls so they want to hang out with him. (mainly because I’m sure he’s had that conversation many times before, kind of like reading a hollywood script). But having a conversation or a date doesn’t equate to having sex.
Sorry Lee, but what you’ve said just blows my mind.
“She can get sex any time, just by approaching the hottest single guy at the bar and saying “Hi”.”
No she can’t. A woman doesn’t approach. A woman doesn’t lift a finger when it comes to actually trying to meet guys. And second, the men who do approach her are more often than not people she doesn’t want to have anything to do with. And most men don’t view themselves as sexual. Most men repress their sexuality and try to appeal to the woman’s intellect. There’s simply hardly any real men left in this world. Everyone’s a complete and utter politically correct mangina. The majority of men “approach” women in online dating or when they’re drunk in bars. And the ones that do approach need stupid forums like these to sing kumbaya to eachother in order to get over their quote “fear” of approaching women. fear.
“What is a common theme in so many of these studies is that the more attractive the woman, the more she wants committed sex with one man.”
this is complete nonsense. and the fact that you buy this shows me that you don’t get laid much. The stories that I’ve written above are just the tip of the iceberg. If you experienced what I’ve had you’d know this is complete and utter bullshit. I’ve been with plenty hot girls that didn’t want anything close to a relationship, that just wanted a sexual fling. In fact, they slept with me the moment I told them that I wasn’t looking for any commitments. There’s *ALL* sorts of girls out there. There’s so many personalities you can’t possibly just pigeon hole them. It’s complete garbage. The people that wrote that article I’d probably slept with more women in the last year than they have in their entire lives, I could bet anything on that. So I don’t need any bullshit “scientific” studies to tell me what works and what doesn’t.
p.s Cartoox, translate everything in that article to where the boring guy just doesn’t try to fuck her.February 18, 2015 at 5:03 pm #72865
As my students already know, my average first date is forty five minutes long. It’s a coffee date. My average second date starts at my place. That’s 2 to 3 hours from hello to intimacy. There’s even an article somewhere on here that talks about how I get them there. I’m in a relationship now with a girl I met out in public. Just like every girlfriend I’ve had in the past ten years, she contacted me. Unless I was strong armed into it, I haven’t taken a number in five years.
Being sexual is important. Much of what I talk about when I meet a girl is sexual, from the way I describe what I do to the way we talk about women. However, if all you offer a woman is your sexuality, you’re leaving a lot on the table. Women are looking and listening for evidence of high value behavior.
Think Bond. There’s nothing innocent about it. He’s not a white knight. He’s a dark knight. He’s expressing his sexuality right away. But that’s not all he’s doing. He’s also mocking them and challenging them to defend themselves. He’s not kissing their asses like many of these “You’re so amazing!” pickup videos.
–LeeFebruary 18, 2015 at 5:18 pm #72866
well that I can agree on I never said anything about kissing up to women. If anything my behavior is self serving I don’t do much to try and please them. Besides offerring sex is not the only thing I’m about I have my own passions and interests. But I’m just saying that if it’s about sex I can get it pretty easily. I know women’s secret.February 18, 2015 at 6:54 pm #72867MrAntiquityParticipant
@Lee/RyanO– You two seriously have your wires crossed—still sounds like you guys agree on most things. Honestly–both of you may get a boatload more women than I do, but to me a lot of this “argument” looks like theoretical minutiae. Ultimately it doesn’t look like what you’re doing is actually all that different. Maybe in what is actually said, but not in framework.
Here are the commonalities I see:
1. Flirting (in various forms) is useful.
2. Sexual assertiveness is not only useful, but important and pivotal to moving things forward.
3. Women like sex more than guys admit/want to admit, so it’s important to recognize that and express ourselves accordingly.
I don’t agree with the idea that all women are hard up for sex all the time, and I tend to think that even for things like one night stands, women with any degree of self-worth at least want the guy to be a worthwhile individual in some way or another–not just a cock for the night. Because those are a dime a dozen (or a dime a million, really)
What does look different to me is the kinds of women you’re both pursuing, and what you want from them. Ryan’s approach is more ‘I want this–I’ll go get it”. Lee’s is “Maybe I want this, and maybe I don’t. Let’s have some fun in the interaction first and we’ll see if she fits the bill”.
As far as I’m concerned, both approaches have their merits, depending on the circumstance. And challenging, and what Lee refers to as “skepticism”, is usually inherent in flirting anyway.February 18, 2015 at 8:18 pm #72868
Men do better with all women when they legitimately want only women who meet certain high standards. The idea of hooking up is not nearly as important to women as it is to men, but meeting men with high standards, men who have many romantic options is very important. It’s the single most important criterion. Flirting shows a certain comfort with women, which is good, but hard qualification – actually asking women to pass tests of intelligence, wit, insight, etc. – demonstrates not only a comfort with women but also high standards, which is even better. It is particularly effective with the hottest women who, as this paper explains are much more selective when it comes to sex.
–LeeFebruary 18, 2015 at 9:04 pm #72869
@MrA NO. You don’t understand. The differences in these mindsets here are huge. I’ve seen this argument play out so many times, even in other forums. This argument was the crux of what I figured out for myself throughout the years. In fact, I was doing exactly what Lee’s preaching years ago. Qualification was a thing that I really bought into. Like completely. Then I completely changed my mind about it. And now I think it’s all a bunch of junk. In fact, I know it is. And there’s nothing that sabotaged my successes more than buying into that line of thinking. The fact is, you’ll get what your mindset dictates. Skepticism? I told you that it’s very weird and unnatural to be skeptical of a hot chick, esp if all you want is to get laid. It makes no sense to me. Lee sees a hot blonde 21 year old playboy playmate and asks her “well.. what do you have to offer me?”. To me, that’s being dishonest. And he’s only doing that for her perception of him. To me that’s plain phony. And worst, it just wastes time.
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