What to do?

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Viewing 15 posts - 91 through 105 (of 148 total)
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  • #72477
    The_Hurricane
    Keymaster

    None of the following work:

    1) Your concern that something is going on
    2) Accusing her of behaving badly
    3) Discussing your feelings with her
    4) Having her agree not to do something that bothers you

    All of the following work:

    1) Disappearing for a while
    2) Having a rich, active, and visible social life
    3) Showing her an amazing time when you appear (infrequently!) in her life, thereby creating a feeling of scarcity
    4) Being mysterious and having a private life
    5) When you’re in front of her, ignoring mention of anything that would have previously caused you to get upset

    –Lee

    #72479
    EJ_ap
    Participant

    I’ve been following your story for a while now and man oh man. I went through the exact same thing. I know exactly what you feel, i was going crazy, got so obsessed over her. Couldn’t sleep, eat, work. The problem here is that you’re living HER life and not your own. Until you realize this yourself no one can help you. You need to start doing things that you enjoy and are good for you and not worry about what she does. What helped me to get her back was dating other girls. As soon as she knew she would go crazy. It’s reverse psychology. But i don’t recommend you doing it just to get her back. It’s not healthy. She has to realize what she wants herself. It will eat you alive. Believe me. You probably won’t listen to me but best bet is to put this relationship to the end. You don’t realize it now because you think you can’t live without her but trust me you can.
    I did manage to get her back and get her to break up with the other guy. We got back but past was always between us and things were never the same. In the end we’re not together and she has someone else right now. I just slowly started to accept this fact. Once you accept it you will feel much better.

    #72480
    sangremala
    Participant

    Thanks Guys! Appreciate all your time, trust me!

    #72482
    sangremala
    Participant

    Lee – You have to disappear for longer than that now if you want to make a difference. A week and a half or two weeks is the kind of space between dates that you would see if you were just plain busy. I would go for a month and a half. And when you do come back, you are allowed to push for sex, as long as you end the date when you don’t get it.

    Sangremala – And it’s ok if she sees me active on social media?

    #72483
    sangremala
    Participant

    Oh and what reason should I give if I am asked, If/When I return?

    #72484
    The_Hurricane
    Keymaster

    As we talked about at the very beginning, you should offer no explanations. Keep it vague. “Work. Social life. Just busy as hell.” If she presses you, just tell her “Look, why should you want to know the details. This is good. Until we’re in the right place together, both of us should have some privacy.” If she asks whether you’re sleeping with anyone else, say “Until we’re in a real, committed relationship, you should always assume I am. Whether I am or not is not the point. The point is that you should assume it. I’ll assume the same about you.” These are just examples of how you answer these questions. Don’t give away the mystery.

    –Lee

    #72492
    sangremala
    Participant

    Should I unfollow her on social media or will that just make me look like a mad bitch?

    #72493
    The_Hurricane
    Keymaster

    I would not un-follow her for the precise reason you gave.

    –Lee

    #72501
    sangremala
    Participant

    I should of wore my big boy pants and listen to you guys earlier smh.

    Since I’ve been off radar they’ve been hitting me with text messages and No I haven’t responded 🙂

    #72513
    sangremala
    Participant

    Do I let her see me having fun in photos on social media or do I stay quiet off of social media?

    #72514
    The_Hurricane
    Keymaster

    The more visible you can make your social life without having it look like you’re trying, the better.

    –Lee

    #72515
    The_Hurricane
    Keymaster

    I have a dirty little trick for you that’s going to make you look like a rock star. Get dressed up in a good outfit. Take a camera with you. Go out. Find a group of hot girls and say this:

    “Girls, I wanted to tell you that all of you look absolutely gorgeous tonight. I wonder if you can help me out. My girlfriend has been hanging out with her ex a lot lately and I want to make her jealous. Can I take a picture of myself with you guys? Nothing would make her more jealous than seeing me a group of hotties like you.”

    Most girls love this. They really ham it up. They put their hands all over you. And some even kiss you on the cheek. It’s a safe way to act out their bad girl fantasies, and it gets you some fucking awesome social media posts.

    You’re welcome.

    –Lee

    #72517
    sangremala
    Participant

    Lmfaoo yeah I’ve done that. I used to be a party promoter. Haven’t really had problems getting women. I just got caught up with this bitch.

    #72519
    sangremala
    Participant

    It’s a dope idea!

    #72525
    sangremala
    Participant

    Question (and don’t worry I am sticking to my guns and the plan, infact I started feeling better as I detach).

    Im still learning and I am asking this since this situation might help me in the future or other people in the future if needs be.

    I agree and I am sticking to the plan of disappearing for awhile. Hanging out. Doing what I have too.

    Even though it’s healthy for me or anyone to enjoy their lives But if the guy still has the goal of winning the girl back wouldn’t the girl lose interest or move on or will date other people since they think the guys interest is gone? The girl might not even respond to the guy when he does come back either cause she moved on or due to her Ego. Some chicks play the game as well as guys.

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