August 7, 2013 at 9:39 pm #69707
Im going to post the audio here. It starts about 12 seconds in.
Im at kind of a sticking point. There was definitely some interest there but I didnt feel like I had her hooked. And in the end she ended the conversation. Any tips would be great.August 8, 2013 at 1:02 am #69719
Congrats on a good conversation!
Couple of points–
1. First half sounded quite a bit more animated (from her perspective). I think she was genuinely into being chatted up–but it hit a bit of a plateau–maybe sometime after the skydiving part of the convo. There was some excitement there that you could probably have worked with a bit more.
2. When you asked her ‘what do you do’–you got an answer but then switched back to yourself–so you didn’t seem really interested (granted–you asked her about graphic design much later, but give her a chance to show her personality.
3. Lot of straightforward ‘questions’ to get out of conversational lulls. Things like ‘So…how did you…’ or ‘So…what did you…’ Remember statements not questions can really move you forward–unless you have something that you REALLY want to know about (i.e. not smalltalk)
4. Needed more flirtation/interest/tension. Obviously we can’t see what you actually looked like, but the idea that you were interested didn’t really come across. That may be why you lost a bit of interest around the half way point.
5. Get the number–no reason not to. Absolutely enough rapport for that–might as well have gotten it 2 minutes in, chatted for another minute or two, then left.
Hope that helps…good luck!August 9, 2013 at 11:27 am #69757
First, kudos on the voice tone, energy, and overall smoothness of the approach. You sound as smooth as most pros. Kudos as well on qualifying her. You had her explaining herself nicely. With the right girl, this would have been enough to get contact info, so I can’t be too critical. That having been said, I see two flaws.
First, you are asking her way too many questions. That is called rapport seeking, which is what she should be doing, not you. That, more than anything else, tells her that you are both interested and invested, way more than you should be given how much she’s giving you back. There were more than a few times that I was waiting for you to just drop the conversation, let her feel the loss of interest and try to reel you back in. Unfortunately, you were the one who wound up scrambling to fill the dead space.
The second problem I saw is that this approach is low on the heat index. Presumably, you are there because she’s hot, but the conversation you’re having with her is one you could have with another man, a stranger you just met while waiting in line at the department of motor vehicles. Where is the sex? Where is the flirting? You have to learn to turn up the heat.
Your hottest story or topic of discussion is the one that sets up your sudden exit. It’s a huge demonstration of value to leave just when you know you have her in the palm of your hand and it leaves her excited to see you again. That’s the time to get contact info.
–LeeAugust 9, 2013 at 4:46 pm #69758
Big thanks for both of your responses.
I think your 2nd point is interesting. I actually prefer the way we talked about our jobs in this approach. I find it a little hard to relate to a girl’s job instantly just because there are so many different types of careers in terms of level of ambition, skill, etc especially when I may not know much about her job. So I like a little bit of time to internalize what she does and then come back to it later. But also, I talk quite a bit about my job so I think when I turn it back to her a lot of times she is more willing to open up and talk about her job a lot more than she is right away.
your 3rd and 4th points are good and similar to what Lee said.
Ha, i was completely unaware of this but I just listened to it again. And every time there was a lull or pause in the conversation not only did I end it, but I ended it by asking her a question. I can easily wait and let her reignite the conversation. As for asking a lot of questions in general, I will work on that. It will probably be a little bit more of a slower process because when my mind goes blank it is questions that come to mind more than statements.
I was aware that if I made it more flirty and sexual it could be a lot better. I even have a story for it that Ive told on a couple dates but have not had the courage in an approach yet.
Id ask her if she works out and then maybe talk a little about my gym. And the other day the conversation at the gym was about girls who can have an orgasm while working out. Like they are running, or doing situps I guess a lot of times it is ab exercises and if they keep going they can orgasm. Have you ever heard of that? I had no idea! Girls get all the fun!
My goal for the next week is to tell this in an approach.
I assume that story is good. I like it because it really is true. So I tell her that and she is laughing maybe some comment or question but basically right after I should get her number?
I’m sure I could have gotten this girls number and probably a date. But what you are talking about, (when the girls is just as invested in it as I am and just as excited to see me again as I am her) is really what I want. And I didnt think I had that with this girl.
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