The Right State
November 19, 2014 at 4:24 pm #72342
Can I get your advice on something? How do you stay in the right state?
What I have found that works:
-get yourself to take action (warm ups)
-supportive belief systems (assuming attraction, viewing failure as a stepping stone, etc.)
What works for you? I believe there must be a way to stay in positive state more than 90% of the time (unless you perceive a grave loss). Can you help me work it out?
ZhelyazkoNovember 20, 2014 at 1:50 pm #72343MrAntiquityParticipant
It’s impossible to stay in a positive state 90% of the time, and trying to force it is really, really unhealthy (sometimes dangerous). The “positive thinking” movement is a farce–really. That’s why things like “the secret” or “the landmark forum” and those things fuck so many people up…you can’t override your actual feelings by faking new ones. The advice you’ve given yourself, though, is correct–take action. Do things. Exercise, too. That will allow you to become more positive as you start to see more things begin to happen. But don’t try to fake positivity–embracing negative feelings and accepting that they’re also part of who you are is just as important. Ask any (good) psychologist.November 20, 2014 at 3:37 pm #72344
Yes Mr.Antiquity, but feelings are just a matter of perception. If we change the perception we are able to change the feeling, right? Reality itself remains the same but we can feel totally different about it based on how we are feeling (not just in pick up)
I get rejected at an interview. I can:
1) Get depressed, believing I will never get a job
2) Get frustrated and use this frustration to fuel my motivation, knowing that I will eventually make it.
See how our perception of things changes what we feel/ how we act. What I am getting at is that you should be able to interpret most things as positive to you. I am still working out the How, though. It’s not about being “happy” but about being in a state that allows you to take the action you know you should be taking. That is my goal: to always be in a state that allows me to take the action I want to take.
Any thoughts on that?
ZhelyazkoNovember 20, 2014 at 8:20 pm #72346SomeguyUKParticipant
I don’t know if there’s any way to do what you’re asking. You’re basically asking ‘how can I be happy almost all of the time?’
I don’t think that’s possible. The human condition is such no matter what we have in our lives, we always want something better.
Life is so unpredictable that you are always going to have ups and downs throughout your day, and you’ll always have something new to worry about.
I do think it’s good to try and avoid carrying negativity around with you. Like today I joined in some facebook debate, and I ended up feeling weird about it. I enjoy getting in debates but I realised maybe it’s not worth it if it means I am carrying some kind of negativity around with me all day. I think you could extrapolate that idea to different parts of your life.
As far as being in a good state for approaching women is concerned, I think that’s just about being as outgoing and social throughout your day as you can.November 20, 2014 at 8:24 pm #72348
Thank you SomeguyUK
Ok, to isolate this to a good state for meeting women:
1. Be as social as you can throughout the day (warm-ups)
2. Supportive belief systems (assuming attraction)
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