Texting question for Lee

[sdl]

Hi Lee,
How soon do you ask a girl out (or rather, tell her where to meet:]) after you get her number? If she’s “buying in”, as you say, after your first text do you set up a meeting then? It seems like most guys recommend pinging back and forth a few times first but I’ve been noticing that they fade away when I do that…I feel like whatever attraction there was disappears when I wait too long and they move on with their life. I think I’m going to try to set up a date as soon as I get an enthusiastic response, even if its the first reply. I’ve been reading your posts and I’m curious as to how you go about it. Thanks, -s

[The_Hurricane]

That is correct. I am not a believer in texting back and forth. As soon as she gives you some interest, tell her what to do. A few short texts are harmless, but think about your perception of someone who has all the time in the world to chit chat back and forth over the course of an entire day. What would you conclude? They’re already invested. They don’t have much else going on. They’re afraid to pull the trigger. That’s why it’s better to ask them out right after you get some buy in.

[sdl]

Thanks for your reply.
So in your opinion, what are signs that she is bought in? The other day I texted a girl a picture with a funny caption and she texted back “thats so funny!!!”
Is she bought in? If so, would your next text be the time and place to meet or would you do one more to transition?

I’m getting more numbers from girls who are texting back which is great but a lot of them are fading away before we meet up. Trying to figure all this out [:
Thanks,

-s

[The_Hurricane]

No. That’s not enough buy in. She’s just reacting to what you said. She’s not actually making an effort. You want her to make an effort. Wait a couple of days and send her another ping. If she were really into you, a pause of a day or two would make her reach out to you. But if she doesn’t, you can send her a funny / flirty message. She has to try to engage you in conversation before you ask her out.

–Lee

[sdl]

Lee,
Sent a picture with a caption to another girl today and got back “Haha selfie! How’s it going? Having fun I see.”

That’s a buy in, right?

[The_Hurricane]

It’s better than nothing. She asked you a question, but she asked you the most generic question. “How’s it going?” is an easy question to ask. It has nothing to do with you specifically. I’d reply, but I wouldn’t ask her out just yet. When they ask me something lame, I usually answer with something totally over the top, like “i am living life with the white hot intensity of a thousand suns going supernova at precisely the same moment in time. you?” See if she gives you a little more buy in and if she does, ask her out.

–Lee

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