Stuck in the Omega/Beta type, how to make the transition to Alpha?
July 17, 2013 at 6:11 am #69311
First off, if you haven’t already, please read the article found on approachanxiety.com titled “How to be a true Alpha male” here: http://approachanxiety.com/2011/02/how-to-be-a-true-alpha-male/
before reading or replying to this post. Thanx.
I admit I have a big problem in my life when it comes to confidence in general. I feel as though I am stuck in omega/beta land with no insights or directions on how to transition to Alpha land in a real world context without paying an arm or a leg just to gain said insights from “pickup gurus”. I have many things that I enjoy in life and I am actively pursuing said passions, although for some reason I just can’t seem to find the right path when it comes to my relationship/sexual goals. This is something I have struggled with all my life, though I am only in my late 20’s, I believe there is hope for me yet to change my general outlook when it comes to women. I guess in a nutshell, my question to all of the approach anxious community, as well as any self proclaimed Alpha males and or pickup artists/men who get laid a lot, is this: Is it possible to BECOME an alpha male, even if you are currently more of an omega male? Furthermore, is it essential to do it in steps, to become a beta male first, then alpha? I understand that these are loaded questions but I am just interested in getting a lot of different feedback on this and a diverse amount of viewpoints.July 17, 2013 at 7:04 pm #69317
My recommendation–forget about the term ‘alpha’. To be honest, I can’t stand it in ‘PU world’–it’s a term co-opted from ethology (study of animal behavior) and, while it certainly has SOME relevance for people, it’s oversimplified, overused, and most of the time translates either to ‘be a dick’ or ‘don’t give a fuck’.
If that’s not you (which is probably a good thing) you can’t talk yourself into it (which is also a good thing.) You don’t HAVE to ‘lead the pack’ to get the ladies–you just have to go get the ladies 🙂 (which most people suck at so giving it a shot is 90% of the battle)
Essentially, everyone’s track is going to be different but ultimately you’re slowly training yourself to relax a bit, let go of some pre-conceived notions and self perceptions, test the waters a bit, and become more comfortable with your identity as a guy (masculine/sexual identity)
So yes, you WILL do it in steps (that’s what this site tries to get you to do), but it doesn’t matter whether it’s Beta/Omega Zeta Pi or whatever–skip that lingo–slowly you’ll embrace yourself and the next steps will follow as part of that.
Be prepared for it to take awhile–there’s no rush, and it’s not a race.July 18, 2013 at 3:29 am #69342
A misconception of mine when I started this process was that I should try and become ‘the alpha’ in my own peer group and social circle. This is nothing one should try. The process would take years, meet with immense resistance and perhaps end with you getting kicked out. A more reasonable aim is to display alpha qualities (confidence, independence, courage, social competence) to women. The women you approach usually do not know your status within your peer group. (Those within your group you will usually not want to approach anyway.)
I recommend Eric’s six-step method to give you a solid foundation for approaching women. But when I started approaching women my self-esteem was zero, as was my game. I desparately needed to prove to myself that I still was a man (after having been solidly betaized in an LTR) and nothing would count for me but getting laid. So whenever a new woman/girl came into my reach I was attracted to I did what I could to get her in bed. The only alpha quality I had to bring was stamina. And slowly I worked my way out of the morass.
I guess what I want to do is contradict part of what Mr Antiquity says. You can be in a situation where you feel that you need validation/appreciation of your identity as a man right now. I was in that situation and I could do nothing but approach women wherever I could and be as selfish as I could. There will come a time when you do not want to be an asshole anymore – but the time when you feel you’re somewhere between beta and omega is not that time.
Hope this helps.
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