Step 4 Question

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  • #71069

    Hey, it’s me again!

    Step 4 question: how do I continue the interaction if a woman doesn’t really respond to me (almost ignored)? Like the what happened to me today:

    Me: “Hey, do they have wifi here?”
    Her: “I have no idea” (didn’t even look at me)

    Then I showed my phone for her to see the list of available wifis but she didn’t even take a look at me or the phone.

    Me: “Thanks anyway” (not knowing what else to say thus leaving)

    How could I have continued the interaction? Or do I just leave them alone when I get this kind of responses?

    On the other side of the coin, I’m happy to say that I’ve gotten 2 numbers although I’m still only on Step 4! 😉


    You leave them alone. No amount of pickup magic can overcome that kind of initial reaction. If you’re getting that a lot, it’s probably because you’re somehow telegraphing your approach. Try not to spend too much time checking them out before you start talking to them.


    Eric Disco

    In Step 3 you are trying to lose outcome dependency and not care how women react to you. This is important for when you initially speak with them. You want to get comfortable with any reaction you may get.

    Once you’re more comfortable with any reaction, you move onto Step 4. You’re staying in a little longer. It’s true that at this step you still don’t want to be completely dependent on getting a great reaction before continuing. This is because some women will act more disinterested than they really are, simply out of habit. On top of that, anxiety can cause a guy to think he’s doing a lot worse than he really is. He feels bad taking up a woman’s time and feels compelled to leave as soon as possible.

    All that being said, there are some instances, like the one you described above, where a woman is giving you close to NOTHING and there is really no point in continuing. As Lee said, you are very unlikely to turn that around. But if you want to continue with the interaction, just as an exercise, you can do that. But for the most part before continuing with Step 4, you want at least some kind of response from her, at least a little bit of eye contact, at least some indicator that she’s willing to talk with you.


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