step 1 question

[Marshall74]

Ok dudes i bought the book. And yes im already asking questions, deal with it lol.
Maybe somone has had similiar situation. What if i guy cant go out 7 days in a row? I have a schedule with my 9 yr old thats clockwork. So could it be said to just get out regularly in all the freetime one has? Do we need a number?
And what places are we talking? I live outside a city but its not huge. Erie pa. Can these places be grocery stores, malls, clothing stores, bookstores, etc etc?
Where do you guys go when theres not thousands walking the street?

[SomeguyUK]

Just go out whenever you can. The point is to try and get into a routine of going to the same places.

Just go wherever there are women. Personally, I go to supermarkets, clothing stores, train stations, market areas.

[The_Hurricane]

If you can’t do it every day, make a schedule for more time every other day and stick to that schedule. If you can’t do every other day, do every third day. The more time that elapses between your exercises, the less benefit you will retain from the previous exercise.

It’s important to avoid a situation in which you are deciding that day whether you are going to do your exercises. If the exercises are hard, you will always be able to come up with some excuse not to do them. Set up a schedule to do your exercises on a regular basis even if you can’t do them every day. Stick to that schedule.

–Lee

[Marshall74]

Gotcha guys. Thanks ill do my best with the schedule
I have.

[Marshall74]

Ok man so what ive doing from my inspiration from the book, comming here and just plain wanting to be reborn ya know.
Ive been talking to anyone i can when the moment comes up. I even asked a very attractive girl in the beer section a question. Lol it was actually pretty fun.
Trying to keep my mind out and my body in so to speak. I dont liv in a huge nyc area so im doing what i can.

[The_Hurricane]

Keep going, dude! We’re all rooting for you.

–Lee

[Marshall74]

Thanks lee. Appreciate it. A freind of mine sings in a local rock band. Me and a coworker are going to watch him play at a club. I havent been out at night for a while now. I think i know how to approach the night but if theres anything you could point me too as far as frame or somthing to help with my frame that would be cool.

[SomeguyUK]

I hang out in rock bars a lot, they are usually pretty dirty so an opener I always use with girls is ‘you guys look FAR too clean to be in here’.

It always gets them smiling, but at the same time it’s a bit ambiguous. Seems to work well.

[Marshall74]

Hey cool i may have to try that one.
Turns out they cancelled the show so i went to a huge
County fair with some coworkers. There were alot of oppertunities.
I was fairly social and talked to a girl about her pizza and where she got it.
However a girl i did see and would have liked to say hi to was walking at me at a pretty good pace.
Id like to know how some of you handle the gitl walking directly at you??

[Marshall74]

Hey guys im having some real anxiety when out and about alone. I do better when im with someone. Can i get some feedback on this.?? How can i reduce this feeling to manageable.

[zhelyazko]

Hi Marshall,

Refer to the book. Always take manageable steps. If you feel like a step is causing too much anxiety reduce the intensity.

On the other hand, you WANT to be feeling anxiety, otherwise you are not growing.

Same as the gym. If you do not feel pain- you are not growing. If you feel too much pain you might break a wrist or two.

Furthermore, the more you do it the easier it will get. When I first started going out at might on my own I felt like everyone was judging me for being on my own. Now I simply do not care if they are or not. I genuinely could not be bothered. So the lesson is, if it works for me it WILL work for you.

Keep at it and good luck. And keep us updated 🙂

Regards,
Z

[zhelyazko]

Walking girls are always difficult.

What Eric suggests (if you do not know the girl) is wait for her to walk past you and in the next 5 sec or so turn around and lightly tap her on the shoulder.

Then you can open. “Hi I saw you walk past and thought you were cute”. Or something more low key if you are feeling too nervous.

Regards,
Z

[Marshall74]

Hey z thanks man. Yesterday i was really trying to figure out why im feeling better in group or with a friend then alone. And how i can transfer that feeling somhow. Or like you suggest, break it down.
I went to 3 places alone and didnt talk to anyone. After i met up with a pal i started being more social.

[-Humz-]

Hey M

You’re right. It is easier to have someone with you while you pick up. They can help you get talking/motivate you, and there is an upside to having someone there after each approach because they act as a ‘harbor’ to go to after the approach. They can watch your body language and they can assist you in tweaking and adjusting your overall game. Also, if you were able to get companions who are girls, they will boost up your social value (fancy way of saying you’ll just be more attractive to women, ‘pre-selection’)

Sadly, there are downsides too. A lot of the times, if you go out with someone, you just end up talking about pick up all night rather than approach. It’s very counter-productive. You will notice that you will get very comfortable which is kind of the opposite of what you’re trying to do, which I hope is to get out of your comfort zone. Also, at some point your mind will start to tell you that you’re having fun with your friend and you don’t need to approach. All bad things.

Going out alone helps your pick up tremendously because, ultimately, the approach is done alone. The way people react to you is the most surefire way of knowing what things you need to adjust about your game. Going out alone has absolutely no negative effects on you. At the very least, you’ve gone out and didn’t stay at home, which should give you some satisfaction while starting out because you’ll know that you are trying. But after a while you’ll know that just going out isn’t good enough and that you will have to start talking to people. So you start raising your objectives at an escalating pace.

The trouble you will run into while going out alone is you might go for a long period of time where you don’t speak to anyone. You’ll start feeling crappy and you’ll start thinking that you’re just wasting your time. Good. Because that’s a great motivator to change something about your plan. And that’s how you’ll improve.

Humz

[zhelyazko]

One very useful thing I do now. When I cannot approach a girl I do 20 push ups on the spot. This forces me to take an initiative. Even if I do not approach the girl, after I do the push ups I feel more energised and the next approach is a lot easier. And it’s healthy too!

But I would not do it at work, obviously!

Regards,
Z

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