She ignores me when I ask her out

[sn]

I’m trying really hard to stop thinking about this ONE girl and I usually am good at forgetting, but this girl is on my mind. She’s playing her game solid on me.

I’ve met her only once, when I first approached her on the streets a few weeks back. She’s super gorgeous and I want to try and I want to keep trying with her.

I try not to text her too much, so I’ve only texted back and forth a few messages trying to get her to meet me.

The last time she said “Okay, let me check my schedule and I’ll get back to you,” she never did.

A few weeks by (today) I text her again and see what’s been new with her. She replies super fast and we exchange one or two more messages (this whole time she’s texting me back in about a few seconds) I’m texting her a few minutes later.

She’s building up my level of excitement and she knows I’m only texting her to try and get her out again.

I asked the question again if she has time this week for a coffee, then – silence.

nothing!

Should I text her in a few days and try again? I’m willing to work a little extra harder to get her. I’m doing my best to not look needy with her and be cool about it.

Any suggestions on how to ask her out again. Since I already have twice and she has not responded to neither.

[MrAntiquity2]

honestly? I’d skip it. What’s so great about her? She’s pretty? So are 30 million women. Your only rapport is a bit of conversation on a street. How could you possibly be that into her?

I don’t think she’s playing her game that hard–just sounds like there wasn’t as much of a connection as you’re hoping. You’ve said your piece to her–if she’s not going to play ball that’s her deal. The second/minute texting thing doesn’t really mean much.

Move on.

Maybe I sound a bit harsh, but there’s nothing there worth fixating on–and chasing her down isn’t going to do you any good. Even if you do persuade her to go out with you, what’s the point? Doesn’t sound like there’s anything there.

[sn]

I have told myself SO many times that there’s plenty of girls out there, so I should move on and keep searching. And just like you say… I move on. Because I don’t want to seem like I’m chasing her too hard and lose my value.

Why can’t it be that I am just being persistent in going after what I want? Without looking needy or what-not. I know I can move on from this girl. She’s not ALL I got, but I want to know that I have at least put some effort towards getting her to meet me.

I always move on in situations like this all the time in the past, and I can’t seem to get the girls I truly desire. Mainly because I feel like I give up too soon or I feel she her values are too high.

I do get enough girls and even some hot ones, but when it comes to connecting with them I feel zero connection. Only the sex is good. After that, it’s done and over and most likely I won’t see them again.

I’ve never had a LTR. I sometimes feel if I’ll ever be able to love someone. Or sometimes I wonder if I just haven’t found the right girl.

And maybe I haven’t because the ones I THINK could be a potential gf I give up too soon and move on. Then I’m back in the loop again of getting girls I just get for short term or one night stands.

I want to change this around and aim more towards finding a girl (like the one I’ve mentioned) to try a long term.

If that means I keep trying then, I will. Having lots of girls is a good feeling, but after awhile it gets kinna old to me and I want to aim for one quality girl and try to focus on her. Or else I keep continuing the loop of finding the girl, sleeping with her, then find a new girl.

This is the reason I stress that I want some advice how I can achieve getting THIS particular girl I mentioned.

And IF it doesn’t work out between us, then fuck it. I’ll move on, but at least for the next time when I meet a girl like her again I won’t give up too soon and actually work on getting her.

[The_Hurricane]

There is no advice that will help you with this girl. You’ve asked her out twice and she showed no enthusiasm for meeting you. The problem with asking her out more than once is that you lose some attraction every time you ask. What you’re telling us – that you have no one else you perceive to be as valuable as this girl – is exactly what you’re telling her when you continue to ask her out. She doesn’t perceive it as strength or manly persistence. She perceives it as weakness and need. The correct strategy is as follows. After she shows enough enthusiasm for meeting you, you ask her out once. I don’t even like to ask them out. I just tell them what time and day to meet me and see what they do. If they’re busy but want to meet me, they will suggest an alternative. After that first time asking, your chances of getting her out on a date drop significantly. However, if you want to convince yourself that you gave it every chance, what you should do is ping her occasionally – say every couple of weeks – without asking her out. Only when she shows enough enthusiasm for seeing you should you ask her out again. And by ask I don’t mean ask. I again mean tell. Tell her when and where to meet you. The way you did it – accepting a no then coming back to ask again – significantly lowered your chances because it made you look like a wuss. Doing it again will make you look like a bigger wuss. At this point, even pinging her is probably useless. Move on and do it right the next time.

–Lee

[Author]

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