Second date with church girl
July 9, 2013 at 2:41 am #69229loves2smileParticipant
We met for tea at Starbucks. I hugged her when she was coming over to my seat. We sat and chatted for about an hour before parting ways. I was walking her to her car, before she stopped about 100 meters from it and told me she’s leaving Wednesday and won’t be back until mid August, and hinted at hanging out again. I take this as a good sign, as if she wasn’t interested at all, she would have just said goodnight, right? Btw, I wussed out again and didn’t attempt a hug let alone a kiss at the end. I’m really walking on the line between the lover and friend zones.
She’s starting to open up to me, and started to ask me questions about the things we discuss, so I take it as a good sign. I’m having a hard time “sexualizing” our conversations, so we’re not just talking about boring generic things that might make me come off as a “friend”.July 9, 2013 at 10:57 am #69237
Words are meaningless. Sometimes her saying nothing is a better sign than her saying, “Let’s hang out again soon” or whatever. Those words are worthless. They really have no bearing on what will happen in a situation.
Likewise, sex talk is good. But if you don’t soon turn that into hooking up, it doesn’t build much momentum for you. Yes, it’s way better than no sex talk, but you’re still in the friend zone if you haven’t hooked up.
I would minimize all the talking and friendly hanging out (even over the phone or e-mail or text when she’s away). Be mysterious. Act like you’ve got a lot of options. You could even consider dropping things altogether and picking them up when she returns. If she senses you’re willing to hang out with her as a friend, she will almost always take that route.
EricJuly 9, 2013 at 1:13 pm #69238
Before her and I were to meet up for tea, we were with a group of friends. Afterwards, we were planning on heading over to Sonic’s for milkshakes and could have gone with them, but I asked her to go have a cup of tea with me instead at the XYZ Cafe. She instead offered another place at the ABC Cafe and the rest is history.
I’m curious, was there a play I missed here? I figured if she wanted to hang out with friends, she could do it with our group instead of just me. Of course, maybe I’m being used as a validation tool for her attractiveness from guys?
For our third date, should I keep paying for our cups of teas/coffees? I read in the articles here that the man shouldn’t spend his money on the woman all the time, so that he come off as a “nice guy”.July 10, 2013 at 9:25 am #69239
Yeah, if you can get her to buy you a cup of coffee then great. But that’s not your biggest issue here. You want to get this girl to a place where you can hook up with her in some way. I really wouldn’t meet for coffee for a third date. You’ve already done that. Do something else with her, anything else. Go to a museum or a show or a bar or anywhere else. A coffee date is fine for the first date but it is too tame for a second or third date.
EricJuly 10, 2013 at 4:05 pm #69241
There’s a State park near where I live. I was thinking of going there for a walk, so I have plenty of excuses to touch her. It’s nice at night and will set the mood for when I make my move for a kiss. If the sparks really fly, my house is 5 miles away.
For this next date, should I offer to pick her up at her apartment? It would seem silly to me to tell her to meet me at this park, because she’ll get lost (she’s not good with directions). If I should go pick her up in my car, how should I go about it?
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