Response to direct approach conundrum

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    Hi Eric,

    First of all I just want to say thanks for writing ‘She’s six steps away’. It’s the single most useful, practical piece of ‘pickup’ advice I’ve ever read. I am now able to do things I was terrified of doing before, due to the process of slowly going out of my comfort zone, as your book teaches.

    I also wanted to ask what I should do if I do a direct approach and it immediately goes really well? I approached the hottest woman I have seen in months the other day, and as soon as I had finished sayeng my opener(‘you’re so gorgeous I had to say hello’), she immediately asked me where I was from.

    I’ve never encountered a ‘getting to know you’ question right off the bat after approaching a girl directly, and it really threw me off! Her english wasn’t that great so it didn’t go anywhere, but I’m curious as to how you would have handled it?

    Eric Disco

    Hey Man,

    Thanks for the feedback. I appreciate it.

    That’s a great problem to have but it definitely can throw you off. Part of confidence is leading the interaction so that you know what comes next. You’ve done it so many times with so many different women that you are relaxed and comfortable. But sometimes when a woman is attracted like this woman was, she’ll take the reigns.

    If she does take the reigns, there are a few things you can do. First, you want to have answers prepared for these typical questions. Whether you take the lead or not, she will probably eventually ask where you’re from or what you do. That’s her way of showing interest and moving the conversation along. If you’re prepared for these questions, you can handle them easily.

    In order to come up with a good answer, you want to try out different things and see what works best. This may take some trial and error, but the payoff is huge as you will use it constantly in almost every social situation.

    I like to keep it a bit fun and flirty with the option to throw in something sexual if I feel the conversation needs to be amped up.

    When she asks me, “Where are you from?” I respond:

    “Ahhhh… this place you probably never heard of…” I wait for her response.

    “Try me.”

    “It’s called… New Jersey…?” I wait for her response. Typically she laughs. Sometimes she says she’s heard of it. Other times she plays along and pretends she never heard of it.

    I continue. “It’s this magical place, with unicorns and rainbows. And nobody ever gets sick or dies.” I touch her on the arm. “Oh my god, YOU WOULD LOVE IT.” This last part is a bit of a neg/tease because I tell her she would love New Jersey.

    After that, if it seems the situation calls for it, I may throw in some cocky funny banter. “You’re not going to start hitting on me now that you know I’m a Jersey boy are you?” I point at her. “I can see that look in your eye! You’re looking at me like a fat kid looks at a cheeseburger!”

    I don’t always say all of this. But I have this ready to go in case I want to.

    I’m not particularly clever and was never really great at this type of banter but I slowly built this up over many encounters with women. I’ve tried out different things at different times, particularly when I felt super comfortable. And tried to remember what worked well.

    Likewise, you can do this with other typical questions like, “What do you do?” etc.



    That’s awesome. Thanks for your help man.

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