Pissed girl off with opener

[The_Hurricane]

@ryano

I completely agree with you! Why should you bother with all of this crap. It’s so freaking complicated. If by simply being yourself and taking chances often enough, you can get what you want, you don’t need anything else. Some of us on here are not so lucky.

–Lee

[SomeguyUK]

Back to my original post, here’s another interesting thing I’ve experienced.

I opened a really cute girl in a sandwich shop, with an indirect opener. About 30 seconds into the conversation my mind goes completely blank. So I just said “I have to confess, I didn’t really care about the sandwich, but you’re really cute so I wanted to talk to you”. The girl immediately tells me she has a boyfriend. I go “oh that’s ok, I wasn’t asking you out”.

I then leave and go over to the cashier to buy my food. Weirdly, the girl went over and stood by the cashier and waited for me to finish buying my food, so she could say “it was nice to meet you”.

A similar thing happened today. I go for the direct approach with a girl who is walking down the street. I stop her, she smiles, I get her name, she tells me she has a boyfriend. Again, I sort of shrug and say “that’s ok, I wasn’t asking you out”. Normally when girls don’t want to talk to you on the street they just walk off immediately. But this one just stood there and looked at me. I just said I’d leave her to her shopping, and she offered me her hand to shake. I have never had a girl do that before in that situation.

I think telling them “I wasn’t asking you out” surprises them. They assume most guys who stop them like that are going to ask for their number immediately.

I think their reaction means one of two things. Either they genuinely do have a boyfriend but they are thinking “Oh I was a bit unfriendly then, I’ll do something nice so this guy knows it’s nothing personal”. OR they actually don’t have a boyfriend and they are thinking “crap, maybe this is actually an attractive guy and I just made a mistake blowing him off”.

[Tedted]

Really interesting thread with a heated debate that revealed so many important principles.
To me it seems that both worlds need to be used at times because yes the whole success relies on the uniqueness of the game and not being one more guy chasing her.
Women like brain games much more than we do.
And the boyfriend reply is almost always an excuse.
A last comment I wanted to make is that it seems that women usually ignore guys of their level and show interest and easy approval of guys with higher looks and status. At least this happens in my country.
Unfair but if you understand it you may play the game more efficiently…

[The_Hurricane]

@Tedted

What you’re saying is true in every country. All else held equal, women prefer men of higher looks and status. Beyond good fashion and staying fit, you can’t do much about your looks. Status is a different matter. One woman can’t possibly be an expert at gauging the status of men in a thousand different fields. They can’t tell if you’re a good lawyer or a failed lawyer. They can’t tell if the startup you own has $3M in revenues or $3 in revenues. That is not how they gauge status. They gauge status by its correlates – confidence and the degree to which you seem to need them. If you lack confidence and, at the same time, show an immediate need for her interest, you are telling her that 1) you don’t have enough desirable women in your life, and 2) you probably aren’t successful enough to think yourself worthy of a desirable woman. That is bad. On the other hand, if you ooze confidence and, at the same time, are a little skeptical that the desirable woman standing in front of you is good enough for you, she will perceive your status to be much higher. That’s when you stand the best chance of getting what you want.

–Lee

[ryano]

@Tedted

“A last comment I wanted to make is that it seems that women usually ignore guys of their level and show interest and easy approval of guys with higher looks and status.”

Bullshit. Complete bullshit. Never be fooled by hypergamy or LMS it’s a loser’s game.

A few other responses to what you said:
1. All women are the same in every country. And I know this cause I’ve been traveling everywhere in the world and they all respond to the same stuff.
2. looks/status is what men like to tell themselves when they don’t get laid. That it’s about looks and status b/c it’s an easy scape goat to fall back on. I can tell you right now that I’ve probably fucked more girls than most celebrities out there. And with hotter, younger girls too.

Be very very skeptical of LMS (Looks/Money/Status) for attracting girls.

LMS is generally a pua-hate term. you know who believed in LMS? Elliot Rodger. The kid who shot up all those people in the university and then committed suicide. Here’s a video of his:

He doesn’t understand why he doesn’t get any girls. He’s good looking, he’s a good dresser, and he clearly has money. He also was the son of a prominent movie filmmaker. So why didn’t he get laid?

I’ll say this once and I’ll say it a final time. women don’t give a FLYING FUCK about LMS. It’s what society tries to instill in people and it’s a LIE LIE LIE.

It’s basically a way for corporations to try sway people into a consumerist pipe-dream. You get the money and the status: now you can have the girl!

Bullshit. You know how many times I’ve been say in bars and I’ve lied about my occupation? (when I just started out) Hundreds. I’ve told girls I was an investment banker, a lawyer, a doctor. I used to go to vegas and tell girls I was a successful stock broker and I always had an expensive suite too to match. Did that work? of’course not.

Women don’t respond to those things AT ALL. Funny enough, I think men are more shallow than women when it comes to that stuff.

You know what works? approaching and escalating. Leading, and being a sexual man. That’s it. Especially if you want to get laid in the quickest amount of time possible. If you’re looking for an LTR then I’d say how well your personalities match is the next most important thing. and if you have some money, then that’s just the cherry on the cake. But it’s definitely not the damn cake.

Women RARELY have men around them that display true sexuality and the reason being is our society is infatuated with LMS and tiptoeing around women that it’s such a fresh breath of air when a man is sexually free with women. Society caused eliot roger to do what he did.

What happens is that men basically leave out the one component (and probably the only component) that women respond to and that’s SEX.

Women are VERY sexual creatures. I used to play the whole value thing and it doesn’t work for shit. Reason being is that all women really want is sex and a man that knows how to go for it, in a smooth and fun way mind you.

The trick though is that women will never admit this. They will actually chastise men for this. But it’s a lie. it’s basically social programming. And women are the creme de la creme sheep of social conditioning. Hell they invented social conditioning. They also invented game playing. You will NEVER win with women in playing games.

So instead of trying to win them on a logical (LMS) front, you win them on a primitive/sexual front. And they can’t do anything against it. That’s why they’re so scared and will never admit this. Because the moment you get a woman horny, it’s all over for her. And she knows it. That’s why she’ll battle you to not get her horny. She’ll say things like “omg, that’s CREEPY.. omg, I can’t believe you said that!” but it’s just a lie. Because deep down they want to be pounded in the worst way possible. I know this because I’ve seen it time and time again.

You know what “flirting” is? It’s the hidden language of females and something men are horrible at.

Flirting it’s basically looking deep into a woman’s eye with a grin and your eyes tell her “I know your secret…”
(and the secret is she wants to have sex with you but she won’t EVER admit it).

So basically as a man, your goal is to make her wet. You leave all the logical bullshit out of the picture.

Exercise #1: go to a bar and talk to a woman about what you “think” she wants to hear. Ie, you’re a nice person, you’re established, blablabla. I can almost guarantee you she will walk away and forget you forever.
Exercise #2: go on a date and tell a woman about your hobbies, your life-style, or just talk to her about logic. Again, she will walk away and forget about you.

The only way to avoid the result of #1,#2 is to do always have sex lingering in the air. Because that’s ALL women respond to. Then it becomes “flirty”. So in both examples, let’s change them up a bit. Now instead of displaying “high value” or other nonsense and conversations. Now you’re touching her, you’re caressing her hand, you look deeply into her eyes, you joke around with her, you lead her back to your apartment, and you F the crap out of her. Which is what she wanted! Now you’re an exciting guy for her! ding ding ding!

You don’t believe me? great. I don’t care. I know that sex is all women want. I’ve lived this shit too many times to believe otherwise.

p.s if women read what I just wrote they wouldn’t agree with it. because what I’m talking about is an unconscious phenomenon. I don’t talk to their brains, I talk to their vaginas.

[Tedted]

All these points are really valid.
What I mean in more detail is that looks and status definitely arouse more interest. This happens in the initial state of knowing you. Then it’s definitely another story how you escalate and I completely agree with your strategy
Also I just wanted to mention the fact that women reach higher than her level which is illogical and makes us often get disappointed and not understand that our value isn’t lost but simply “ignored”.
Example if a woman that I think can be perfectly OK for me and me to her will gaze like mad with an other guy who is definitely much better looking than me.

[SomeguyUK]

I think conveying status isn’t necessarily about actually having money, power etc.

But women are attracted to indicators of success, e.g confidence. I have noticed myself being better received by women since I have started talking more slowly, being more relaxed around them etc.

Conversely, I have blown the attraction many times by doing or saying something that conveys neediness or a lack of choice with women. It’s amazing how something very small can fuck it up, like making yourself too available for a brief moment.

It’s frustrating because the ‘rules’ that female attraction systems operate on seem to be so rigid, so it’s really easy to make a wrong move and lose again and again. But if I figure that once you understand those ‘rules’ and know how to make the right moves, you can make that system work to your advantage.

[ryano]

@SomeGuyUK

“I have noticed myself being better received by women since I have started talking more slowly, being more relaxed around them etc.”

This statement in itself is flawed. Never change anything about yourself for a female. You don’t have to be relaxed or talk slowly, or do anything to change yourself around them. You can talk fast and you can be stressful and you’ll get them just as well. The only thing that women look for is authenticity. Are you being true to yourself or are you changing yourself to “get her”. Because the moment you change anything about yourself to please her she freaks out and pins you as a wildcard and that’s a big turnoff to women.

**Note: if you’ve genuinely become more relaxed then that’s great and will help you b/c then it’s authentic. I mean, if you’re consciously trying to be more relaxed or consciously trying to slow down your speech sort of nothing. For example, Russell Brand is a fast speaker and doesn’t seem relaxed at all to me yet he gets more women than a starbucks toilet seat.

“Conversely, I have blown the attraction many times by doing or saying something that conveys neediness or a lack of choice with women.”

I agree with this. You can’t be needy. women are attuned to this like crazy!

“But if I figure that once you understand those ‘rules’ and know how to make the right moves, you can make that system work to your advantage.”

Absolutely. the weird thing is almost all women operate in the same way. They all respond to these same “rules”.

[ryano]

@tedted
“Example
if a woman that I think can be perfectly OK for me and me to her will gaze like mad with an other guy who is definitely much better looking than me.”

I mean, it’s really rare for women to just get turned on by looks alone. She might say to herself “he looks good” but she won’t get aroused mind you. They don’t operate like men. For women it’s more of like how a guy carries himself and if he exudes sexuality. So more his body language. If he looks like a “fucker” they get aroused (as I noted in my previous post, sex is all women care about) whenever you go out in public next time, scan for men that look like they’re getting some and then scan for men that look like they’re clearly not. it’s not so much looks as it is a type A personality type thing. Men that are looking around, smiling, talking to people, looking girls in the eyes, being flirty, etc.

[MrAntiquity]

I don’t completely agree with this–yes, you don’t want to become some phony character on account of women–no. That’s the problem with a lot of “PUA” lunatics. That’s weak and a sign of insecurity. It also messes a lot of people up.

But there ARE things that you can do to improve yourself and how you approach social environments–with one or a group of people. I never used to ask grilling or challenging questions…now I do. I learned that it was safe, more interesting, and–how ’bout it–reponse from people was a lot better. So it was something that I became aware of with the help of these forums. But it wasn’t phony, either. It was releasing a new part of me that I hadn’t realized it was safe to release before. But the advice of ‘Don’t change ANYTHING about yourself” isn’t exactly right. “Be Yourself” is both the best and worst advice out there–best because it’s ultimately a fundamental truth–but worst because it’s not something that lends itself to “advice”. Ultimately there are things that anyone can do to improve situations–just sitting there doing the exact same thing that hasnt’ worked in the past isn’t going to help.

[SomeguyUK]

I agree man. Don’t change anything about yourself? That doesn’t make sense. Making a habit of approaching women is changing yourself. Dressing better is changing yourself. Learning to be more sexual is changing yourself.Asking for more phone numbers is changing yourself. I could go on!

I do agree that you shouldn’t try to be someone that you’re not. But I think improving your social skills is about trying to swap some of your bad habits for good ones.

[Author]

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