No reply from a girl I met at an outing event

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    Eric Disco

    I know this girl a few days ago. My company arranged a traveling outside of town, and it turned out that she with her other 2 friends were part of the group (they are not part of my company but somehow they are part of the group). When we were walking together, I tried to approach and talk to her in group, and take some pictures of her. Since some of my colleagues are also trying to hit on her, I didn’t have much time to talk to her. There are still so many things I don’t know about her.
    Yesterday, one day after the event was finished, I texted her, saying hello and said that I’ve got a couple of pictures of her and asked whether she would like to see them. She said OK so I sent her the pictures. She told me that she liked the pics. In the afternoon, I texted her again, asking whether she’s already at home. There was no reply.
    I heard from one of my colleagues that she already had a boyfriend, the reason that I think why she didn’t reply to my message. But, I noticed that when we went together on our traveling, she had a bit of interest to me. I have no idea what to do. I read somewhere that when we approach a girl, after your first encounter, you should not keep sending her messages as it will crowd her and make her feeling uncomfortable.
    I don’t know what to do. Should I try sending her a message tomorrow, or should I wait a couple of days before sending her another message ?
    Any help would be appreciated.

    Eric Disco

    There may be some information here left out about how well you know this girl or how long you’ve known her, but this is my assessment based on what you’ve written.

    Okay, so you texted her that you have some pictures of her. And she responded after you sent the pics. Okay, not my favorite way to start off an interaction, because you’re making an effort with her to do something for her. If this were an ugly girl or a guy, you probably would have been more chill with the pictures. You maybe would have e-mailed them to her when you were at work. So I’m not so fond of this move. It sounds more like an obvious excuse to text her.

    But then you followed up with another text later on asking her if she was home. I don’t like that at all. First of all, you’re asking her a personal question and an inane, weird one at that. Why would you care if she was home? This text comes across as very needy. It’s also way too soon to send, particularly after the last one.

    And how did you get this girl’s number in the first place?

    >I read somewhere that when we approach a girl, after your first encounter, you should not keep sending her messages as it will crowd her and make her feeling uncomfortable.

    This is exactly what you did. I would not try to keep messaging her. You should try to have a conversation with her in person. That should be your first goal. See if she’ll get into a conversation with you. From there, you can invite her out to do something. If you do get her phone number, the focus of any text messaging should around getting her to meet up with you. It seems like you’re trying to make conversation over text, which is the worst place to do it. If you haven’t even talked to her in person, texting is a bad idea.


    Eric Disco

    Eric, thanks for your reply,
    I’ve got another question. Considering what I’ve done wrong by asking her whether she’s already at home or not, What should I do next ? Should I wait a couple of days before I send her another message to take her out so I can know her better ? If I ask her out, while she already has a boyfriend, how can I do that ?
    well the fact that there is so little information I know about her really make me have no idea what to do..:)

    Eric Disco

    If she hasn’t responded yet, she won’t change her mind when you send another text in a few days. You blew it by showing too much interest. Now, disappear for a while. The most attractive thing you can do is wait a few weeks to ping her. A ping is a flirty text message or link. Don’t just ask her out. Send her a ping and wait for her to respond. If she responds positively, ask her out. Will it work? Unlikely. The fact that you barely had any interaction with this girl combined with the fact that she failed to respond to your second text means you probably blew it. Nevertheless, if you want to continue, the ping strategy is your best bet.


    Eric Disco

    Ok.. Thanks Lee,
    I’m gonna try that..

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