Over the past year or so, I’ve made some progress in getting over social anxiety. I attribute some of it to a few things I learned from here, like speaking to everyone I get a chance to or just putting myself in position by going out more. I’ve also been at a more sociable job, which has helped a lot. I’m proud of this, but I still have work to do. I still get nervous talking to girls or big crowds. I still don’t take rejection as well (whether girls or acquaintances). I still need to work on my voice projection and body language. I do realize I have a lot of work to do.
With all of this being said, I have gone on more dates the past year than I have over the previous five years. But I’m having trouble taking it beyond a first date. And the most frustrating thing is that most of the dates still like me afterwards. I don’t know if I am being too nice or friendly. I know there’s nothing wrong with nice (and I make sure I’m not a pushover because of it), but I feel like this is where I go wrong. It used to be that I would go on a date and get ignored the next time I try to get another one. Now, we can keep communicating after, but that’s all I can get. They’ll even text me random things on some days just to chat. Its so annoying. I can’t seem to convince them that we should be more than friends (and I use that loosely as we don’t ever hang out after).
I guess my question is, how can I come off as more than just friends? Most times when girls describe me, I get “nice” and “sweet.” Is that part of the problem? Should I work on being less nice?
Thanks!
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