i'm so confused about this girl

[superdry]

Hey guys… I took a girl out about a few weeks ago. First, i’d like to tell you how I got this girl. As I was roaming the club area meeting girls on the streets during a night out with my buddy. I saw this girl leaving a club with some guy.

I thought there’s a cutie, but she’s with a guy. I watched them for a minute or two deciding if I should go say whats up. She was really cute btw.

My friend tried to hold me back telling telling me not to intervene as he’s probably doing what we’re doing and meeting girls. So we should let him do his thing (he’s new at this give my friend a break please). Of course I decide what the hell. Y not?

I approach this girl with just great confidence and friendly smile and I totally have her attention. We make a brief chat. I can feel the jealousy in this guys presence. She had just met this chump in the club. It was a for sure thing and now I went for number. She gladly gave it to.

About a few days later we grab a quick bite and a beer. It was a bit of a long date, but she was definitely no doubt into me. During the whole time we’re there she’s giving me signs she likes me. We chatted, flirted, and talked about sexual stuff.

Unfortunately, we only end it with a few make outs and we go home. Not bad.

She was impressed with me coming to talk to her while another guy was there.

A week goes by… we haven’t talk each other too much after our date. So I decided to ask her out again. She tells me she’s busy and we’ll hopefully see each other soon after.

Another week goes by… (today)

I text her and ask her out again. Instead of me explaining i’ll put the text on here.

Me: Hope u enjoyed ur wknd. What do u say we grab a bite this wk? Let me know ur schedule.

Her: Thanks. I like my weirdness too. Sam you seem like a cool guy but we want different things. I’m not looking for casual and you aren’t looking for serious.

Me: Y you gettin all philisophical n shit? lol We’re just gon go eat together.

I would hardly call that philosophical. Just warning you that if you are looking for romance you are barking up the wrong tree. That being said food is fine. Maybe wednesday. Ill let you know

Me: The way I c it – I had a chill time w you. If you would like to hang out again. I’d like that. If not, i’m totally okay with that too.

Her: ok cool

End there.

I don’t understand what is going on with this girl. Can someone explain this type of situation? And if we do end up meeting again how should I go about it.

I would really appreciate the help guys.

Thanks!

[The_Hurricane]

In my opinion, her explanation is worthless. If you had generated enough attraction, she would have been more willing to step outside of her comfort zone. When you make out with her and she stops you from going further, two things happen. First, she gets all of the validation she wants that she’s a desirable woman. Second, her perception of your value goes down. That is why make outs are dangerous. You further reduced your value by asking her out twice in a row.

There are two strategies for first date intimacy.

1) Push all the way. Push, push, push, and if she turns you down — which will be the majority of the time — stand up, tell her you’re tired and you have to get up early, and call it a night. Don’t tell her what a good time you had. Don’t make plans to see her again. Don’t look angry or frustrated. Just give her a hug and go. Make her feel the loss. It’s very attractive when a man has enough pride to just walk away. If she doesn’t contact you, ping her a few days later. If she shows interest, ask her out.

2) The other strategy is to take her to the point where she wants to make out, and deny her that kiss. Play with her. Tease her. Touch her. But don’t actually give her the validation of that make out. If she initiates it, give her a little peck, then pull back and tell her she’s going to have to work a little harder for that. She’ll hate you for it! But your value will go through the roof. If she’s attractive, she’s completely unused to men putting a stop to physical intimacy.

So what should you do now? Go on that date. Be fun, be flirty, be attractive but don’t go for the make out. Be the one to end the date. Stay in touch, but don’t text too much. Let her be the one to suggest getting together again. If that third date ever happens, you can go back to pushing for more physical intimacy.

–Lee

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