How far in advance?

[loves2smile]

I’m curious as to how far ahead of the next date do you plan? If there’s a band playing on Sunday and you ask the guy/girl out on Friday evening, would you think it’s too rushed?

What do you think is the ideal? I’m going to guess one week, but what do you all think?

[The_Hurricane]

A week is safe. The closer you get to the actual day, the more of a risk you’re taking, but the more confidence it projects. If it’s Friday and you’re asking her to an event on Sunday, you may want to ask like this: “hey this sunday i’m going to blah blah to see blah blah play. you should tag along.” She may say she already has plans, but if she doesn’t suggest an alternative – something like “but I’m around next week” – she’s probably not that into.you.

–Lee

[loves2smile]

She responded tonight on the night of the event with:

Her: Sorry I’m just now responding to u. Its been a crazy week and i’m not gonna be able to make it tonight. Sorry. See u Mon.

This Monday we’re hanging out with friends; it’s not just her and me. So I don’t think it counts as an alternative.

She responded tonight on the night of the event with:

Her: “Sorry I’m just now responding to u. Its been a crazy week and i’m not gonna be able to make it tonight. Sorry. See u Mon.”
This Monday we’re hanging out with friends; it’s not just her and me. So I don’t think it counts as a counteroffer.

So it’s obvious she’s not that into me anymore and I think my next step is to pull back until she starts to show interest again. What did you think of that text?

I know the bottom line is: she took two days to reply and she didn’t give a counteroffer so there’s probably no point in continuing with her. Especially from the looks of this last text. Thoughts?

[The_Hurricane]

Yes, there’s not much to do here. Pull back. When you see her, don’t engage her. Say hello, ask her how she’s doing, and move on. If there are other women present, go talk to them. Her level of interest in you has to be much higher before you can ask her out again.

–Lee

[loves2smile]

I was talking with people before she got there and during this time, I wasn’t able to talk to her at all. It’s not like I didn’t want to, but it’s just that every time she’s alone I’m in the middle of chatting with someone and whenever I’m alone, she’s chatting with someone. How would/should I isolate her, if I should isolate her at all?

I am curious, though, as every week when we hangout at a friend’s house, I always chat with her once. This was one of the only times when I didn’t. Would she get a negative vibe from my lack of ‘trying’ to talk to her?

[The_Hurricane]

You asked her out. Do you think that she doesn’t know that you like her? Even when you talk to girls about the weather, they can sense that you like them, so after asking her out and getting a last minute no, you should stop worrying about whether she knows you like her and start worrying about whether she likes you. If she already knows you, you can’t get her to like you simply by spending more time around her. If anything, that’s just going toturn her off more. The way to change her opinion of you is to demonstrate the qualities of a desirable man. Will it work? Probably not. When a girl says no to you once, it’ll usually remain a no. However, she is in your social circle, so you have plenty of time to demonstrate how cool you are. Right now, that, and some very light contact with her is all you can do.

–Lee

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