Frustrating Flake

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    Forum has been kinda dead lately so I figure I’ll get the juices flowing again with a recent situation of mine.

    I met this super cute chick at a bar this past spring. Shes a 9 just for context. I got her number that night, but never contacted her. The very next week I run into her at the same bar. We talk briefly before she leaves. Upon leaving she hands me a piece of paper with her full name and number on it.(which I already had) I think great shes totally interested. I text her a day or two after and secure a date. We go on the date and it goes awesome. I mean virtually perfect. I’ve never been so pleased with my performance on a date. It ended with a makeout sesh which I cut short. I’m thinking this is trending a great direction.

    The next day the girl texts me and thanks me for the previous night. A few days after that, I strike up a convo and get a good response, so I decide to try and secure a 2nd date. My suggestion is met by silence. I decide to wait it out and see if she eventually gets back to me. She doesnt. After 2 weeks I ping her in order to gauge any interest that may remain. I wasnt totally thrilled with her response, so I dropped her altogether.

    Now fast forward 5 months. I see her at a club in the city randomly on a Saturday night. Shes extremely receptive and we danced for brief period of time. I ended up getting distracted by another girl I hit it off with earlier in the night, who I later took home with me. Pretty sure shes wasnt aware of that, for what its worth.

    A month after that I decide to give her one more try. I send her a playful ping about something she revealed about herself from our first date. She responds immediately. We send a few texts back and forth. She is clearly engaged though. I tell her “we should grab a drink this Thursday.” She says she cant because of a work event. She then apologizes and says shes free Tuesday and Wednesday. I tell her I might be able to do Tuesday but I’ll have to get back to her. She responds by saying, “please do!”

    On Saturday I text her, ” Hey looks like I can do Tuesday night, so let’s plan on that.” No response. I decide I’m not saying another word until she does. On monday nigh she texts me,”Still free for drinks tomorrow night?” I say yes, then tell her the time and place to meet. She says, “works for me!”

    The next day 2.5 hours before the date she says, “Ohhhh no so work is doing an impromptu going away party tonight 😩 is there anyway we can reschedule for next week ???” I took an hour and a half to respond to this because I honestly wasnt sure how to handle it. I was torn between not responding at all or just playing it cool, but wasnt going to acknowledging her reschedule request either way. I’m not too pleased with my response but I simply said, “Have fun at the party.”

    This girl has totally blown my mind. What really gets me is she went out of her way to confirm our date the night before, only to give me a BS excuse for why she was blowing me off the next day.

    Like I said, the forum has dead lately so just seeing if anyone has any thoughts on this. Where could I have done better? Was I a fool for continuing to contact her? How would you guys have responded to her flake?

    The only thing I know for sure at this point is if we ever talk again it will be her initiating contact with me.

    Eric Disco

    Sounds like you did pretty good so far. There’s not much I would tell you you should have done differently. I’m not a big fan of saying we ‘should’ get a drink. I prefer to say something like, ‘let’s’ grab a drink. Just sounds more casual. But that’s minor.

    It seems like this girl has another alpha guy in her orbit that she’s keeping herself open for. Maybe some guy that has broken up with her once or twice, or pushed her away and she’s pining for him. She likes you and she’s willing to move ahead, but then gets antsy.

    I would keep pinging her every couple of months. It can’t hurt. If she comes around barking, you may want to try setting something up that day instead of planning for a week in advance. She could be horny and ready to go and that may pass. Strike while the iron is hot.



    Hey good read and a heart breaker! Eric as usual is probably right.
    As i read this when she “re asked you about tuesday” I thought that sounded just as Eric said an orbiter.
    I thought next time she gives that opportunity just tell her no. Flat out deny her access to you at all.


    I’d agree with Eric , She likes you but She’s into someone else. At best, You are option 2.
    The advice to ping her every couple of months is sound.
    Not because you hope to get a date out of it, but because being in the loop makes it easier for her, when she is horny and looking for someone, to contact you without feeling too awkward about her long radio silence.

    Other than that, I’d focus on any other action you are getting currently.

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