Example of banter (over text)

[zhelyazko]

Hi you lovely people,

I met a girl at a social event and it did seem like we hit it off. I then texted her (to eventually get a date). This is an example of what I have sent her so far:

(me)
Holla singer girl,
Saw this today. Reminded me of you…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Eg5-4Pn444

(her)
Holla
she’s cute, but why me? :DD
do i look that clumsy?

(me)
the resemblance is uncanny !

(her)
haha

(me)
don’t go looking all over my pictures now or I’ll unfriend you!

(her)
no worries,i won’t:D

(me)
have you been hustling today
or did you just spend the whole day thinking about boys

(her)
no response

This is usually how my banter goes in person as well. What do you think? AM I doing something wrong or did I just not generate enough attraction the first time we met?

Kind Regards,
Zhelyazko

[The_Hurricane]

Very miscalibrated.

Whatever you could have gotten out of this girl, you had after she said “Holla she’s cute but why me? …” Messing with her more was not going to get you any more interest. After her “Holla”, I would have pulled back with something like “don’t read too much into it. you’re both adorable. that’s all i meant :-)”

Banter kills. At best, you look like you’re a dancing monkey. At worst, you step over the line like you did here. Either way, don’t banter back and forth with her before asking her out. One little ping like the one you sent, see if she asks you something to keep the conversation going – ie shows you some buy-in – then just ask her out.

Would it have worked? Not if you didn’t generate enough interest when you first approached her, but it wouldn’t have failed for
obvious reasons.

–Lee

[Author]

Posts