Did not think i'll step into it again.
December 11, 2014 at 2:42 pm #72390
I’m going to try and make this story short. We dated in total of 8 years. We broke up 3 years ago for 6 months. She left me for another guy. I almost lost my mind. It’s time i would like to never remember in my life. They dated 4 months and i managed to get her back. We got engaged year and a half ago. One day i come home and she was gone and left the ring on the table. We had lots of fights, she was never home. Always at work or doing her hobbies on weekends. After she left me i sold the ring. We didn’t talk for 30 days since she left. Then she contacted me that she wants to pick up the rest of her stuff. So we met. She was crying that time. Called me later wanted to meet again. I said no. Then we didn’t talk for 3 months straight. We started talking again slowly. We also hooked up once or twice in that time. We met up on her bday and she asked me if i want to get back. I didn’t give her the answer.
Two months ago i started dating other girl. I realized now that i’m not in love with her and would like to finish this relationship as it’s not fair to her. At the same time i find out from my friend that she posted pics on facebook with her new boyfriend all happy and smiles. Now previously as soon as she knew i dated someone she would contact me and bother me all the time. As soon as i find out she’s happy and with someone i started to go crazy again. My heart beats and i can’t stop thinking about it. I confronted her and she was very calm about. I said you look happy. She said thanks and said she’s sure i will find someone else too. She didn’t ask me but i told her i’m dating someone as well. She didn’t seem to care.
I know the right things to do. Is to be on my own and work on myself. But why am i going crazy. Is it the fact that she’s over me or that she’s happy and i’m not?
I never thought i’m going to be making these topics again as i thought i was over with her.
What would you guys advise?December 11, 2014 at 3:04 pm #72391MrAntiquityParticipant
my advice: it’s over–and let it be over. The feelings you’re describing now aren’t healthy–they’re obsessive. You want her more because someone else has her and you don’t. I’ve been there too. But it’s not love–it’s not even “like”. It’s purely possessive. You don’t want that–and the best way out is to leave.
Even if something did happen to work out for a brief period of time–so what? Same thing would probably happen again. Sorry to say this, but a good part of the period you guys were dating–at least the last few years of it, didn’t sound like they were good for either you or her.
I’d say move on–completely. Don’t “game” her or anything as it will probably mess up your head even more.December 11, 2014 at 3:52 pm #72392
You are right but i don’t know why am i going through it again. Obsession is possibly the answer. How do i overcome it? I think seeing her happy and with another guy makes things much worse. I thought i’d be ok by now since 8 months passed since she left. Figured if she dates someone else i would be fine. Somehow i got that anxiety feel again and to add to that she was so calm when i told her i date someone too. Well she said in a pissed way CONGRATS, happy for you.December 11, 2014 at 7:10 pm #72393SomeguyUKParticipant
You need to cut the cord man. This girl is clearly fucking with your head. And it wouldn’t surprise me if it was partly intentional – girls (and guys) know what they are doing when they tell you they are happy with a new person.
You’ve given it a shot with this girl, it’s clear you don’t have a future together. I would cut off all communication with her and move on with your life.December 12, 2014 at 12:45 pm #72394zhelyazkoParticipant
I second SomeguyUK
Yes, once you do that you will feel tremendously better. Just abandon her. How can you care about a person who is doing that to you? How can you even “like” her? Why would you even like her?
From my experience, you need to decide to cut it completely and move on. There is plenty of fish in the sea.
ZhelyazkoDecember 18, 2014 at 7:22 pm #72403
Thanks for the support. I’m still fighting with the feeling waking up every morning and thinking they both are happy and I’m not even though I know it’s better to stay away. I just remember last time she left she started dating someone else. Within few weeks I would get an odd text from her reminding me about herself and now it seems she’s completely over. Trying to overcome this feeling. I tried dating someone else but realized I wasn’t in love so I finished it. Now when you single again thoughts come into your mind
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