Agreed that there are actually a very limited number of scenarios you will find yourself in.
I recommend changing the topic when you transition into personal conversation. This is because you need to take the lead in the conversation and show her where it is going. If you don’t, she may not take the risk herself and reveal personal things about herself.
For example, if you are talking about a food item in the supermarket and you say, “I tried to cook this the other day. It turned out horrible!” She may start to ask you about it, but she may also be afraid to ask personal questions (ironically just as you commented your hesitation to get too personal to soon). She’s scared too. She doesn’t want to put herself out there. She doesn’t want to look like an idiot. So she may direct the conversation back to the opener. She may say, “Well if you try this other brand over here, it should be easier to cook.” Now you are back to square one. You’re back to the opener.
Instead, if you change the topic of conversation clearly and confidently, she knows you’re taking the risk. She’s not going to feel stupid about sharing something personal or asking a personal question.
That being said, there’s nothing wrong with extending the opening conversation and waiting to transition. Go ahead and talk about cooking for five minutes if you both are into it. If things transition naturally, that’s fine. Maybe after a few minutes, she’ll ask you a personal question or volunteer personal information about herself. That’s great. The better you are at opening and having small talk conversation, the more likely this is to happen.
However, that doesn’t always happen. Sometimes the situation simply doesn’t present itself, like if she’s not very talkative but still interested. Sometimes there are logistical limitation, like if you’re both walking. Sometimes a woman will be attracted to you but not have the guts to ask you a personal question. Sometimes you just have to make the move and push the conversation along if it doesn’t get there naturally. In those situations, I recommend decisively changing the topic of the conversation, for the reasons I mentioned above.
Transitioning is an absolutely essential skill to have. It’s also the toughest thing for most guys to do aside from opening in the first place. A lot of guys get really good at opening but then don’t master transitioning.
> I was also thinking that maybe fun facts would be good Transitions? For example, after the Opener, I could say, “You know what I just read/heard recently?” and then say whatever it is. What do you think?
That’s great. Having a story or a fun fact ready is great for building conversation. It’s so good to have something like that in your pocket. However, it’s not really a transition. You could inject some personal questions into it. You could say, “I read this study that women prefer blah blah blah. How do you feel about that?” It may get you a little bit more personal. But at some point, you will still need to find out some core facts about her, what makes her tick, what she’s passionate about, etc.
Eric
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