daily approaches overdone?
July 4, 2013 at 12:20 pm #69181
I had a bad experience today and I hope you guys can help me. So I’m doing daily approaches for some month with only small progress. My plan is to do some easy warmup questions (directions etc.) and then ask a woman for a recommendation (mostly bar or coffee shop). If she responds in a nice and friendly way I tell her that I just wanted to talk to her (if I find the courage, which is not often).
So when I approached a woman today, she gave me an annoyed look. I was irritated and asked “what’s up?”. She ignored it and said “what do you want”. So I delivered my question. Her response “you asked me this three times already” while walking away. I was a bit shocked and said “what’s your name? so I will remember your face” but she ignored it.
This interaction left me hurt. doubting myself and my path for getting better at this.
How to handle this? Am I over-thinking this? I go out at similar times of day in the area of my workplace. Should I go somewhere else to do this? Should I be more direct without the initial indirect opener?July 4, 2013 at 7:33 pm #69185
This happens to me sometimes and it used to bug me a lot more than it does now. Just realize that it’s going to happen and nothing bad will come of it; you aren’t doing anything wrong. It’s not like she’s going to tell every girl in the area about you.
Sometimes I’ll have a girl who won’t even break stride or look at me when I approach her. I’ll be perplexed for about two seconds then I’ll realize I’ve approached her before.
In order to get good at this stuff you are going to creep some girls out and some people will think you are weird. But guess what, people who are successful are usually considered weird. If they thought like everyone else they wouldn’t be anything special.
If you want to have something prepared to say, I think Lee said you should talk about how it is fate that you should meet again.
TayJuly 5, 2013 at 2:14 pm #69194
This is bound to happen to anyone who practices a large number of approaches. So how to feel better about it? Do it on purpose.
The other day I was on the train and I opened a girl standing in the doorway. She responded well but then her stop came up and she got off.
There was another cute girl sitting right near the doorway so I sat down next to her and used the same exact opener on purpose, knowing she probably heard me use it on the girl before her.
“Are you gonna ask every girl on the train that?” she says to me with an incredulous look on her face.
“Yup!” I say, with a smile. And then I continue right along with my opener. Eventually she warms up and I close her at the end.
The same thing has happen with Lee a bunch of times.
Who fucking cares if you use the same opener with a woman twice? Just roll with it. If you act like it bothers you, it will bother you. This is why you want a good routine stack so that even if you do get a little bit flustered, you can keep going.
My advice: if you see a girl you already opened, walk up to her and open her the same exact way again, but do it with a little smile, like you’re fucking with her. Take that risk. Have fun with it.
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