Confused after instant date
August 12, 2014 at 10:57 pm #71406TayBurnz50Participant
Last week I met this girl on the street. We talked for 5-10 minutes and she said she had just moved to the area and she said she was just kind of wandering around the city. I got the hint and I said we should go grab a drink. So I took her to a bar and we had two drinks. I thought it was going well.
Maybe an hour later I walked her to the bay and we found a bench to sit on. It was night and we started making out. We made out for like 5 minutes. She was a little bit restrained as she wasn’t giving me much tongue but that could’ve been because it was a public place and there were people walking by.
After that we walked back to her car. She gave me a big hug and we kissed again.
I thought we totally hit it off that night. But then a couple days later I text her and I get no response. A few days after that I text her again…no response.
I don’t get it. I’m completely confused. I’ve never had that solid of a date then the girl just drops off. How should I proceed with girl? Should I just call her?August 13, 2014 at 3:52 pm #71412The_HurricaneKeymaster
Dude, you’re done with this girl. If she didn’t respond to two messages, calling her is not going to help. You can try pinging her a week or two later, but even that is unlikely to work if she’s ignored you twice. Cheer up. This happens a lot. You think it’s a great date, but even as you’re getting her to comply with your wishes, you’re losing her interest. For the next time, remember this: pushing for more and more and more is making her feel good because you’re giving her a lot of validation, but if it’s you doing all the chasing, you’re losing value even as she complies with your wishes. Just because she’s saying yes doesn’t mean she’s made up her mind about you. What you need to do is to reverse the power dynamic, to make her start trying almost as much as you’re trying.
–LeeAugust 18, 2014 at 2:08 am #71439ryanoParticipant
Ok, I know I said I wouldn’t post anymore. but I couldn’t resist on this one because it solidifies what my post on “Girls are Random” is all about.
Let me just say “welcome to the club” m’boy. I had the same damn thing happen to me a few days back. Met this girl on the street, bounced her to a cafe, bounced her to a furniture store– sat on a couch where we talked about all sorts of sexual things. and we eventually made out. We had a bunch of laughs together. we spent a good 2 hours hanging out. At the end of the date I felt I was in love. lol. so I message her like couple days after that. Radio silence! I’ll try one more text in a few days but then I’ll give up.
Girls are RANDOM. let me point out that I had the *BEST* freaking time with the girl. We were vibing so well it was ridiculous. I felt like we knew eachother for years. Only to not hear from her when I text her? that’s bullshit. But who knows maybe she’ll get back to me in a few days we’ll see. But if she doesn’t, I won’t sweat it anyway because I’ve seen this behavior so many times now my brain is numb.
But to this point, let me just quote the great thomas aka boytoy from this infamous video:
“If there’s one thing I know about women… it is that you never know about women!”
on the flip-side, I’ve had interactions with girls I’ve insta-dated where we didn’t seem have a great connection yet I messaged them and they messaged me back right away and wanted a second date. lol. The game is random as hell. My advice to you is to just be aware of this fact and hold your head up high and don’t put too much emotional energy or thinking into it. In both of our cases we just do not know what the woman is going through in her life. Maybe her cat died and she hates men all of a sudden – who knows!
My advice: just keep hitting on more, that’s why nature keeps creating lots of women, for this exact reason.
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