Closing in the library

[zhelyazko]

Hi guys,

So recently I have been getting in a few conversations with girls in the library (I am a student). These conversations are more friendly than game, but never get to anywhere. I wonder how to close such a conversation. At what point would you be asking for a number/ date? What would you expect to have happened before you do?

Kind Regards,
Zhelyazko

[The_Hurricane]

If you’re working on just being friendly, you can close with something that doesn’t even imply a romantic get together. “I gotta get outta here, but give me your email address and I’ll send you something cool.” That’s all. If she asks what you’re going to send her, just say “A link to something. You’ll see.” Send her a link to your favorite movie or your favorite TED talk or your favorite book. If she’s into continuing a conversation, that’s all it takes. “this is my favorite movie: (link). have you seen it?” There’s no need to get flirty or make this too elaborate.

–Lee

[zhelyazko]

Thanks, Lee. I will try this out and get back with results.

Kind Regards,
Zhelyazko

[MrAntiquity]

@zhel:

You approach a lot–do you usually ask these girls for numbers, or to get a coffee or whatever, and get shot down, or do you not get to the point of asking? I mean it sounds as if you’re getting somewhere with the “just start talking” piece of all this. Why not just bite the bullet if a conversation’s going ok and suggest a quick coffee break–maybe not right then if she’s busy but in an hour or so? Something like “Listen–I have to get at least another hour of work in for this [whatever you’re in the library for], but let’s go for a cup of coffee in a little while. I’ll need the break by then.”

It gives her an out (still busy), it’s low-pressure as it is a sensible thing to do, it shows some interest on your part, and it can bump you up in the “results” department.

[zhelyazko]

Thank you MrAntiquity, I will try this out as well. Thing is most times it is two of them, I will ask both?

Regards,
Zhelyazko

[MrAntiquity]

If I were you, I’d try to find people who are on their own. Maybe not studying as that makes it a bit harder, but people milling around, or standing in a book aisle or something. Two people makes things trickier, and since you’re starting out why not make it easier on yourself?

But yeah–if you strike up a conversation with someone, why not ask her to join you for a coffee or something…

[Author]

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