Call vs. Text, version #2412

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    Yeah, this shows up every now and again–I’m 40 and can’t make sense of the generational shifts on this question.

    I asked a girl out 2 weeks ago–she gave me her number. But I was going on vacation back in the U.S. so there was no way to contact her (she knew this–the “date” if it happens was going to be sometime in early december.

    Now I’m back. I’d rather call (even though it makes me more nervous) but since we haven’t spoken in 2 weeks I’m worried it might be a bit out of the blue. Or maybe I should just get some balls and say “who cares, just call her up”? I’m thinking the latter—but figure I’ll hit up the forum for some thoughts…



    scratch that–I figured I’d beat the forum and call. I pitched Thursday, she countered with next week since she has to finish a project. All good–still in the running and I didn’t wuss out with a text. I’ll keep y’all posted…


    I don’t think texting is wussing out. It’s better for a few reasons. You have time to think of your responses, for one thing. Also there is nothing worse than when you try and make first contact by calling and she doesn’t answer.

    Good work man 🙂


    Calling is preferred when there has been some time you haven’t spoke. Tone of voice, jokes etc give warmth.
    But after this a serious of text messages is more practical and possibly more arousing…


    I never call. What women say they want you to do – call – and what they are actually attracted to are two different things. Calling is a commitment. It says this is important to you. Texting or emailing is not a commitment. Also, texting is more comfortable for her. If you’ve ever called a girl and surprised her while she’s walking down the street, you’ll know how uncomfortable it is for her to have that awkward conversation with you as she’s distracted but trying hard to find something to say to make the conversation interesting. Finally, a text can be a ping – a funny, flirty comment or one liner. A phone call has to be longer. These days, there’s just no reason to call.




    Ok, but until a few years ago all we ever did was call. There’s some new tools these days but people/dating aren’t fundamentally different…

    It strikes me that while texting is a useful tool to keep up contact/flirtation calling is more assertive/dominant. If you really don’t care at all then texting is a good casual medium. But I think that if you’re good on the phone (I’m reasonably comfortable with it–although I need to flirt more) it can work to your advantage.

    The other thing too–is that I was considering texting in order to avoid calling. Calling lets me face fears more–and whether or not I get the girl from it a phone call will probably do more to move me forward than a text would.

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