After first date?

[EJ_ap]

Had a first date last night i met through a friend. We went out for a dinner and i thought it went quite well. We had good time. I then walked her home. We hugged and kissed on the cheek.
I waited to see if she will text me the same night but she didn’t. When do i approach her next? Should i say myself first i had a good time? Trying to make it work.

[The_Hurricane]

As the old trial lawyer adage goes, never ask a question the answer to which you don’t already know. Same thing here. When she’s showing you the right amount of buy-in, you can ask her out. To give her a chance to show you that buy-in, you want to send her a little place holder. I call this a ping. If she’s not enthusiastic enough about your ping, don’t ask her out. Learn to date only girls who are into you.

Your first text: “second dates are so much harder and more stressful than first dates”

Wait a minute, then send this: “at least that’s what girls tell me :-)”

It’s funny. It sets up the right power dynamic. If she’s interested in seeing you again, she’ll play along. If she gives you nothing more than a “ha ha” and doesn’t subsequently send you anything else, let it go and try again the following week with another ping.

Girl who are into you will try harder.

–Lee

[EJ_ap]

Excellent. Thanks

[EJ_ap]

Just to clarify, should i contact her the following days or wait few days?

[The_Hurricane]

Not the day after the date, but the one after that is fine for your ping. Why should you wait at all? You should see what she does. There’s valuable information about her in how she acts after the date. As well, you should train yourself not to immediately consider this woman the future mother of your children. Waiting a little is part of that training.

–Lee

[EJ_ap]

Ok, her response was i don’t know with a smiley. So i suggested to do something on Sunday. She said can’t Sunday because out of town.

[The_Hurricane]

Based on her response to your ping, I wouldn’t have asked her out. Not nearly enough buy-in. The fact that she didn’t offer an alternative when she turned you down also doesn’t bode well. Wait a week and ping her again. See if she gives you more next time.

–Lee

[Author]

Posts