after date

[silversun]

Hey, glad the website is back. I need some advice regarding a date I recently went…

So I went out with this girl (Mary) for a drink few nights back. I knew her from a church group. I took it kinda slow as I was just trying to get to know her. The date was good as we had a lot in common. At the end I told her I would be out of town for about 3 weeks. She said she would contact me after and I told her I would do the same and it ended.

A few days later, I came across an article I thought she might like and emailed it to her knowing she would likely enjoy it. Well, she never responded to the email I sent. It was a pretty harmless email. I’m not sure, is this a bad sign? I was planning on texting her in the middle of my business trip but now I’m not so sure. Should I just be patient and back off until I return? Thanks guys.

[-Humz-]

Hi Silversun,

There’s little to go out on here. There is a big part of the picture missing. The only thing that will get a girl, any girl, to contact you back is how much she’s invested in you.

From there, you have to look at the date. Did you kino escalate? Did you challenge her or did you agree with all her opinions? Did you create tension or were you afraid to do it? Did you let the conversation get inappropriate or was it a conversation you can have with your mom/sister? Did she tell you about her childhood, life, deep secrets, hopes, dreams.. etc? Did she laugh at some of your jokes when you knew they were not funny? In other words, how many IOI’s can you count. Did you kiss her?

I’ll give you more insight once you’ve answered the questions above.

Humz

[silversun]

I appreciate the reply but I wasn’t really looking for a breakdown of the date. I personally don’t approach dates with those tactics. I have in past and find I have better success rate just being myself.

To answer your question, no for the most part. Some of those things I did as it came up but it wasn’t a goal of mine.

I don’t really need to know why she didn’t respond but more if it’s a bad sign or not. That’s all, and how I should pursue from there. Thanks

[-Humz-]

In my opinion it is all related. She will look at your last interaction and she will decide accordingly.

You know the answer to your question because it’s common sense. You sent her a message and she didn’t respond. That’s a bad sign. I know Eric would just tell you ‘it’s a lost cause, go meet other girls’ and that is the best thing to do. As to what you can do from here.. you can ping her again in a week or so. I would go for a second meet, you got nothing to lose.

I just answered your question so you can stop reading here. But I’m gonna give you something more. If you want to read on, be my guest. If not, hopefully someone else in this forum can benefit from it.

This is not me trying to change the way to think, I don’t think that’s productive and it doesn’t benefit me in any way. I want to, however, present you with a whole different outlook on LIFE, not only dating. I don’t believe in this “I personally don’t approach dates with those tactics, I have in past and find I have better success rate just being myself”

We spend most of our lives trying to ‘find ourselves’. I can not count how many times I’ve surprised myself with things I never imagined I could do. It doesn’t mean I wasn’t ‘myself’ in THAT moment, all that means is I haven’t DISCOVERED that part of myself yet. In the pick-up community there is something called ‘your best self’. And that’s what we STRIVE to achieve.

Before you throw those ‘tactics’ out in the trash, I wish you would understand the purpose behind them. They are not meant to be this scheme that you plan before a date, rather they are behavioral characteristics that you should convey to her to tell her she would be NUTS not to want to be with you. That you deserve the absolute best and at some point have the courage to question her if SHE deserves to be with YOU. That you align yourself with fun-loving people, only, and that you have no room for negativity in your life, and so on..

At its core, you have to believe these things yourself. And if you can’t.. Pretend for a while, until it sinks in. Because one day you’ll wake up and truly understand why you deserve the best and most beautiful girls in this world.

Humz

[Eric Disco]

It’s not a good sign that she didn’t respond. If she had responded, that would have shown interest. But then again, you did say you would contact her when you got back. She was expecting to hear from you in three weeks, not three days. So I wouldn’t necessarily take this as a bad sign.

In any case, this is why in situations like this, I like to make sure an email like this doesn’t necessarily need a response, in case she doesn’t response. In other words, don’t ask questions in the email. Just make statements. If she doesn’t respond, then you can still contact her later. But if you do ask a question and she doesn’t respond, you’re kinda screwed. On top of that, questions tend to come off as needy.

Whether or not she’s interested, I would just wait until you get back from your trip to contact her. I would definitely not text her during her trip, not after you said you would text her when you got back.

Eric

[Author]

Posts