Adios Amigos (part II)
November 19, 2014 at 1:51 am #72337ryanoParticipant
Okay this time for real. It’s not so much to wave the goodbye flag for a second time to seek affection. But rather, it’s to put an end to a chapter in my life: My PUA Years. This is one of the forums/blogs that got me started so it’s gotta be the one that I put in my last post. I put in my last post a few weeks ago, then I went to Vegas and PUA mindset crept back in and I started posting again. But blah, now I need to end this and get on with a new chapter in my life. I keep checking back in this forum so now I swear to Dear God it’ll be my last one, so no replies or anything from me on this thread anymore. Just gotta put in this last one and wave goodbye.
But it was exactly three years ago I started on this journey and it’s been a very rewarding one. I kept hearing things how “this stuff can’t be learned” but I kept keeping at it. I was very shy growing up and didn’t have alot of female interactions, but this world of pickup really changed that for me. You’d be amazed how much it rewards you after you stick with it. How much you grow as a person. My first year I didn’t get any results, no sex whatsoever. My second year, things started trickling in. And by my third year, that’s when the “ah-ha” moment kicked in, when I understood how it all comes together and could get as much sex as I wanted really. And this was all through cold approach. Never touched online dating during this time.
When you’re a beginner the most important thing that you want is to be able to approach. You try for months and months. After that comes getting numbers. Again after months of trying, then come the dates. After the dates comes getting girls to your apartment. After months of that, comes having sex. And after you’ve had sex again and again, with different girls cold-approaching, it’s like your comfort zone has expanded to the point of no return. And you can recreate it as much as you want.
But then it keeps happening and sadness comes around again. At this point in my life (sounds cliche I know) I’m really missing love. I understand how to get random girls to like me and sleep with me, but I really miss feeling loved by a girl that I find special and she finds me special too.
In addition I’ve decided to commit my life for the next years to start working on setting my own business (no, not pickup related). So just like I started going into lairs and pickup forums now I need to get into the business forums and conferences and try just as hard to make my own money, as opposed to just being an employee as I was throughout my life.
One great thing that pickup taught me was how it’s so similar to business it is so I’m sure I can have some good results. You have a product (yourself) and you find that the product itself, while it may be good, isn’t enough. You still need to do a whole hell of a lot of marketing (approaching) and sales (closing) to reap any results. So to me, pickup was a lesson in marketing/sales which I believe I can draw many parallels to the business world.
Another last thing I wanted to comment on is the controversy surrounding Julien Blanc. http://time.com/3578387/julien-blanc-feminism-real-social-dynamics/
The news story was a bit striking to me because I’ve seen him coach in person. I took an RSD hotseat a couple years back. Where you’re basically in a room for an entire weekend watching his infield videos in HD (on a projector) and he’s doing a play-by-play commenting throughout it. I was amazed at his successes, and rsd is a serious company that really knows their shit.
I understand where he was coming from in this controversy and it’s amazing to see how much backlash he got from the media and the world. He did cross the lines by grabbing women’s heads and forcing it to his crotch in Tokyo though. But it just goes to show you how weird pickup can get. When you’re so over approach anxiety sometimes you do things that are so “far out”. I remember once at a bar I just started holding a girl’s hand that I didn’t really know as she was talking to her friends and she got so mad at me. So I know what it’s like to cross the line.
I also know the rule of polarizing though. That sometimes, even though you might do things that piss off some people, other people will absolutely love you for it. And that’s the real secret of pickup: “some will, some won’t”. I think Julien understood this to the nth degree, and he understood that even if he does things as obnoxious as pulling girls heads to his crotch, some would actually go for it.
Here’s a picture the media didn’t show:
However, I would advise guys to always polarize lightly and linearly. Start baby stepping and really try to understand how receptive the girl is to you. I’ve mentioned in a separate post that if you say “hi” to a girl and she’s just an ass back you should just leave her and approach someone else. Similarly if you’re trying to make physical contact and she doesn’t reciprocate favorably just next her as well. Sometimes, guys get so cocky and polarize way too strong, like what Julien did, they get these really bad repercussions in return. Where people actually see what they do as assault. I know Julien didn’t mean to come across that way and he’s a good guy deep down, but he just made a mistake and escalated way too harshly due to being cocky and being so over AA, in addition to being in Japan where people tend to be so bashful, he probably saw himself having superpowers or something. But that’s the dark side of pickup. It can almost make you too brash.
The media won’t ever understand this. Society is very insecure about itself and there’s alot of taboo around sex. It’s almost the way we were all before pickup even entered our minds. And the sheep always get completely repulsed by the wolves in this society… But just remember with great power comes great responsibility. heh. Anyway, so long fellas. I’ve had a good time here. To the Great Eric Disco, Hurricane, and the other guys I’ve spoken to: thank you.November 19, 2014 at 1:46 pm #72339The_HurricaneKeymaster
What Ryan said is dead on. That’s where everyone who sticks with this thing ultimately winds up. First, most of us want to get out there and prove that we can attract a million hot chicks and bang them and be “the man”. After we see some success, an empty feeling washes over us. It’s so disappointing to sleep with a hottie – especially when we think we’ve made some sort of connection – and never hear from her again. We want more, a deeper and more lasting connection, a more rewarding relationship. The most amazing thing about meeting community guys is that no matter what they initially tell you they want – which may or may not be true – spending a little time with them ultimately reveals that EVERYONE is looking for true love. It brings tears to my eyes just thinking about it. The best emails I’ve gotten from guys I’ve met are the ones thanking me for a marriage or kids. Yep. True.
–LeeNovember 20, 2014 at 8:31 pm #72349SomeguyUKParticipant
That’s really inspiring on both counts guys, thanks for sharing. Ryan, I’m glad that your life in pickup has lead you to the next stage in your evolution/journey.
Going on to Julian Blanc, I think that guy is just nuts. I have seen Tinder conversations where he is basically trying to guilt trip women into dating him by saying he is suicidal. I believe in person he has also got women to make out with him by saying a family member just died to get her sympathy .To me it just sounds like he is throwing enough shit at the wall that eventually something sticks. I’m sure he gets laid once in a while, but so do I and it doesn’t make me an authority on dating.
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