Reply To: Six Steps of Online Dating

[Eric Disco]

1. How long do you wait between messages? Especially if she doesn’t ask you a question.

The safe bet is this: however long she took to respond to your message, wait that long to respond to her. So if you wrote her and it took her three hours to get back to you, wait three hours to get back to her.

When I do online dating, I like to only write them once a day and that seems to work pretty well for me. I usually do it in the morning.

2. How many times should you e-mail back and forth before meeting?

3-5 messages. Definitely no longer. You don’t want to wait too long because then there are too many expectations built up.

3. Should you talk on the phone or talk on instant messenger before meeting?

I have a friend who’s great with women who really likes to do this. But from my experience, I prefer to just meet up with them. I’ve never had success with the pre-date phonecalls and frankly, I just don’t have time for it.

I do usually exchange phone numbers before we meet up, just in case you need to text about the meetup. Also if you like her and want to text her after the date, it’s awkward to ask for her number on the date if you don’t already have it.

4. What bases should you cover before meeting?

There’s an entire world to online dating that’s different than meeting women in person, although most of the principles are the same. It takes a while to fine-tune things and get good at it. Luckily it’s fairly easy to test out what works for you by sending out a lot of messages and seeing what women respond to. Don’t get discouraged if you get a low rate of return at first, keep experimenting and trying different things out because it can be difficult to tell how you’re coming across online.

Don’t be afraid to try out being bold, cocky, sexual, and even a bit of an asshole. Keep doing what works and stop doing what doesn’t work, even if you don’t totally understand why it’s working. Just like in real life, this is a numbers game. Nothing you do will get you batting a thousand. Just figure out what gets you a higher return rate on messages, dates, etc. After a while, things get a lot easier, even to the point of it being boringly easy to get dates.

Eric