Reply To: Accountability on doing the 6 steps

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Props to you for keeping on trying man.

It seems to me that you’re encountering so much internal resistance, you need to attack this from all angles.

> If I would go out with a buddy I would most likely massively increase my confidence to say something – just like a pro coach. But I fear when the buddy is gone I will be like the extroverted social high school girl: I will not approach anymore.

Or it could be that it gets you over the hurdle you’re at right now, and then you can do more on your own.

In my own experience, I worked on my approach anxiety for about 2 years alone, and I made progress. But it was only when I went out with a coach that I made the leap to actually enjoying the interactions and feeling good during the approach. Before that I was just kinda awkward. But after going out with the coach a couple times, I could do a LOT more alone.

So even though we’re talking about different stages, I do think that just seeing someone else do this stuff, or having them push/encourage you, could give you that little push over the edge.

> I do realize that any female social interaction will benefit me in some way.

Yeah. I’m no expert but it seems to me that if you don’t have a normal level of comfort around women, that’s going to compound your anxiety even more when it comes to approaching them.

> But I believe it will not condition me to do approaches all by myself in a foreign city

It might still give you some extra confidence and comfort.

Look at it this way – if what you’re doing now isn’t working, you gotta try something else. It sounds like you’ve got all the mileage you’re gonna get out of doing your ‘dry approaches’. If you can’t get to the next level alone, you need to expand your horizons.

  • This reply was modified 5 months, 2 weeks ago by SomeguyUK.