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Step 2: Day 13

Today I managed to dry approach some 25 girls.

A few observations:

1. 9s and 10s seem to be walking in their own World. They almost never make eye contact: their eyes are pointed straight ahead at all times. They appear emotionless. They are sending off this vibe: Don’t bother me. They have zero curiosity towards the World.

2. When doing the boot camp the coaches kept telling me I was overthinking the situation why I had so much resistance. Likewise, the overthinking concept is discussed in almost all forums: The guy is overthinking everything that might go wrong during the approach why he does not approach at all. That might be things like: She is too pretty. She has a bf. She looks busy. She is looking for a rich man. She is looking for a tall man. She is too young. My clothes are not fashionable. I need a better haircut. I don’t know what to say to her. She will reject me and it will really hurt me emotionally. Fact is, I’m not overthinking at all. Everything runs on autopilot why I don’t have inner talks about the situation. I don’t know if this is good or bad. When I see an attractive girl I go for her RIGHT away without thinking about it (no 3s rule her – it’s a zero second rule I have) – everything runs on autopilot. As I’m coming closer and closer to her and the distance between the two of us is reduced, I have no negative thoughts at all – everything runs on autopilot.I feel everything runs on a subconscious level somehow. But when I stand next to her I feel empty and “dead”. I don’t feel fear and I don’t have physical reactions such as increased heart rate or sweaty hands. I also don’t feel excited standing there – it’s all very emotionless somehow. But if SHE opened me with a situational opener I would be excited right away. I feel my emotionless autopilot is my curse but if I break the code to open my mouth, the flood gates will open for the rest of my life.

3. I don’t know how analyze this experience that happened to me a few times: I pass a girl on the street and shortly after I decide to turn my head and check her out from the back – training myself to get rid of my sexual shame. 2 times I experienced that the girl turned around as well checking me out. As our eyes meet from a distance I feel an enormous emotional rush and quickly look straight ahead again and keep walking WHILE having the biggest grin/smile on my face and feeling GREAT. Its so fucked up. It’s shameful to show the grin to the girl and it’s so shameful that I hope other pedestrians or car drivers cannot see my smile. The rush is physical – almost like a roller coaster feeling.