Reply To: Is Your Game Under the Radar?
I was just talking with Lee about the fact that I’m glad I’m not trying to learn game in this #metoo environment. Guys have enough negative thoughts in their brain without wondering if they are committing a crime by saying some words. It’s insane that in the UK they are making some kind of laws against talking with a stranger. Not sure if that’s exactly what’s happening but it seems like it from some reports.
To me, even aside from #metoo, it is challenging to consistently do super ballsy type direct approaches on a regular basis. There are some great benefits to that type of approach and some circumstances where it works great, but I think for the most part, indirect is the game to play.
I generally use the ‘deep thoughts’ opener, which isn’t completely indirect, but it is indirect enough that if the woman isn’t interested she doesn’t need to explicitly say she’s not interested. I may be on the subway, in a store, on the street, pretty much anywhere, and I open her with deep thoughts (“You look like you’re thinking deep, deep thoughts.”) From there, her response generally dictates whether I keep going. I am calibrated enough at this point in my game to read her subtle cues.
Some rejection type cues: she doesn’t say anything, she types on her phone, she gives a monosyllabic response like “no” or “yeah” or “uh uh” and looks away, she puts her headphones back in.
Some cues she’s interested or at least that I should keep going: she smiles, she responds with a complete sentence like “I think a lot of deep thoughts”, she stays in my presence when she could easily walk away, she could be looking down at her phone/book but doesn’t, she leaves her headphones off, etc.
To be honest, the chance of something negative happening is really slim either way. Most guys who are trying to get past approach anxiety aren’t the type to be so over-aggressive that a woman will call the police. I mean, you never know if a woman has an agenda against all men and wants to take it out on you. But the risk is really small. The bigger risk is a guy with a lot of social anxiety ending up feeling so terrible about himself that he stops approaching altogether. This is why I recommend starting indirect and if you want to challenge yourself, go direct for a while. Show some cajones. Other than that though, my preference tends to be indirect.