Reply To: How to proceed here?
She *said* they aren’t hooking up. I don’t buy it.
Good. You shouldn’t. But it doesn’t matter, unless a girl is exclusive with me, I always assume that she’s seeing two other guys with less game than me. At least that is how I run my game with her.
She’s told me she’s not ready to commit right now and has to heal from her last relationship but says she has feelings for me and does think we *could* get there. Just not yet. Could be lip service or could be the honest truth, I don’t know.
I hate to see guys push for a relationship. You should always try to get her to push for a relationship. It puts a man in a very bad position. It doesn’t matter if what she is saying are real or made-up excuses, watch her actions. She’s not giving you exclusivity. That means you don’t have leverage with her.
she is now taking substantially longer to respond to texts, is more dry and brief and less warm and sweet in her messages, and we now go longer periods throughout the day without communicating altogether.
These are very serious signals to pay attention to. More evidence you don’t have enough leverage with her.
While those have raised flags for me, there is also the other side of the equation. She cooked for me for the first time last week, had a toothbrush for me to use when I slept over, has kept having good sex with me (this has never been a problem), asked me to have lunch with a pair of her friends (which she said came away really fond of me), and even got into a squabble with another girl friend who responded negatively to her when she was presenting the idea of me and her getting closer.
These are good signs and mean that you do have some leverage to work with. But you definitely do not have hand with this girl.
I’ve read some of the articles here like advanced techniques, but how do I go about this without pushing her too far (maybe even into that former flings’ arms)?
When you say you’ve read some of my stuff, I assume you mean this:
You can’t be worried about pushing her into the other guy’s arms. If you do, all your moves will be weak. Assume the other guy has less game than you. If you become a challenge to her, she will want you more than the other guy.
A few years ago I was seeing a girl who was openly non-monogamous. I wouldn’t really see that kind of girl anymore because I’m not into girls like that anymore. It’s a deal breaker if she tells me she wants an open relationship. But when we first met, she told me she was seeing two other guys. Me and her hooked up and we started seeing each other. She had a birthday party and invited those guys out. Again, I wouldn’t see a girl like that now, but back then I was up for some bullshit.
I went to the party. Those two other guys hung all over her while I danced, talked to other people and flirted with other girls. By the end of the night, she was practically begging me to take her home. If I had acted worried about her banging those other dudes, I would probably have hung all over her and crowded her just like they did.