Reply To: Staying In The Interaction

Home page Forums Approach Forum Staying In The Interaction Reply To: Staying In The Interaction


Thanks for taking the time to write that reply, Eric. There’s some really good stuff in there.

I hadn’t considered that steps 1-3 are almost rejection proof (unless you’re seriously doing something wrong) so of course when I hit a bit of resistance the immediate assumption is that something is wrong. Turns out, this is just the nature of the beast.

This is both hopeful and a bit discouraging. A 90% rejection rating sounds like a true test of commitment. Which I see now is why the book puts so much focus on one’s own personal attitude and positive take away from each interaction.

Does this percentage change or is 9/10 interactions will not hook from here on out? That sounds difficult.

As for my script, if I’m walking around outside (which is easiest since my house is a few feet away from a heavily populated trail) my go to question is one of two:

“Hey! Do you know how far down this trail goes?”


“Cool, I’ve been trying to get out and explore the city more. I’ve lived here for years and I have no idea where this trail goes!”

-response or says nothing-

“Is (name of park) down that way?”


“Is that a good place to bring dogs? I’ve been thinking of getting a dog.”

This is usually where they seem like they want to leave and I let it go.

My other opener is:

“Hey! Is there somewhere around here to get a really good cup of coffee?”

-answer (usually points to starbucks)-

“That’s great but I’ve been really wanting to find a coffee place with a lot of character, know any of those?”


“I realized I’ve been living here for years and I don’t have a coffee shop I really like.”

-response or nothing-

“I would love to just read a good book at a cool coffee shop, read any good books lately?”

-response or usually starts to move away-

If in a market:

“Hey! Know anything about this?”


“I’ve been trying to cook new exiting things lately. Do you think X recipe would be any good?”


“I want to make something to bring to a dinner party. But maybe I should just get something already made, what would be good for a dinner party?”

-answer or doesn’t care and just says whatever-

“Do you like to cook?”

-response or loses interest-

I tried to take the things from the book and add a bit of a personal spin on it so it came out sounding more natural, but of course, please feel free to edit any/all of this. 🙂