Reply To: Am I doing something wrong?

[Eric Disco]

I’m sure it is interesting for guys on this forum to see that women struggle with getting past the first date as well. It is a common ‘problem’ for guys I coach. The reason I put ‘problem’ in quotes is that people underestimate the number of first dates that they may need to go on when online dating. You might not like them, they might not like you, etc.

It’s hard for me to give you specific advice for what you could be doing right/wrong without more details. But here is some more general advice:

– Let the guy take the lead. When you meet up with a guy, most of the time they will take the lead asking questions, etc. at the start of the date. This allows them to feel like they are working for your interest.

– Keep the date relatively short. Often a person knows right away whether they are interested or not. Just because they stay and have a drink with you doesn’t mean they are attracted. They may just be staying because they want to see if you like them. Whether or not you get a second date is the real test. So I don’t like to invest too much in the first date. I have one drink, maybe two drinks at most. And I don’t have a second drink if I’m not interested. It’s better for everyone involved.

Eric