Reply To: When AA is SA – choices
You will never have power in your relationship with your ex without the leverage of being able to meet other women. If she is your only option, she will sense it and flee. Desperation is the worst cologne.
Keep going with the program. Make it a priority in your life right now. You will experiencing more uncertainty, emotional turmoil and frustration than you ever have in your life before. But it is worth it.
When I was a kid and took karate, they had a saying on the wall: the more you sweat in the dojo (practice space), the less you bleed on the street. Likewise, the more confident you can get with random women you approach, the more secure you’ll be in your relationships with women. There’s nothing as attractive to a woman as a man with choice.
The way you froze up with your ex is normal. Almost every guy experiences a certain amount of inhibition around women he’s attracted to. You can learn to still take action despite your feelings of paralysis. You can become immune to beauty but it takes repeated interaction with women before you can lose your dependence on the outcome of interactions with women.
The greatest improvements you will make with women come BETWEEN relationships, not in them. Become the chooser rather than the choosee. Once you have your destiny in your control, you’ll feel a thousand times better for it.